Even more hate but also some glory.

 The British people, especially those around Broxbourne because more appalling by the minute. I find myself not wanting to go out.  The haters online continue to try and argue it is okay to protest outside the 'home' of the children, some people deny their presence, indicating they are not local or in the know.  

The good news is the counter protest has emerged. I am getting almost as many messages of support and a large counter protest happened on Friday, with a big police presence and a Green in the lead, so that was something. Though I still felt those in the hotel might not be able to tell the difference between the noise coming from the haters or the others.   

I have been obsessed with challenging people on Facebook, not because I am better than the people online, but working with refugees I am better informed, but how to speak to out and out racists and those who also seem to be slightly informed but even more anti despite being former refugees themselves. It was ever thus.  Racism breeds racism.  I just think kindness is safer and more a form of self interest.  

I had something though the last week with which to totally distract myself.  Sondheim, or a mini production of Sondheim, with an organisation called Ross, where professional directors and conductors work with amateurs to put on a theatre production in one week.  A nod to Judy Garland put on a summer show.  At first I was upset that I was the only person to not have a part and then I was relieved when I realised how hard the music was, but I styled it out the best I could, albeit it in a borrowed dress and hat and jacket.   It was also lovely to see the whole process from start to finish and my brain has not work that hard for ages, but we did it, I did forget some of the song lines, but I entered and exited in more or less the right places. I did have the least of anyone on the stage to do, but just being there and getting through the week was my challenge.   On the whole people were very kind, and I mostly really enjoyed it.  Would I go again. I do not know.  I should have done it of course when I was younger, and I am just wondering where have all those years gone.  But if not next year then at least one more time. Some people go every year.  It depends on how well these limbs stand up and they will face an even bigger challenge elsewhere. The haters have made me very sad, depressed, concerned. I really do not want to live here any more. If I could just pick myself up and put myself elsewhere I would, but where? They are everywhere and even more and more.   

One of the other participants, the only other person to have Googled, putting on a summer show,  was a lovely young woman all the way from Ukraine, for a week, she departed the war and now she is back under the bombs in Kiev.   She inspired us all.   And so did the other young partipants, who seemed to embody their parts in the adapation of Spelling Bee.  I enjoyed just watching everyone's performances. 

I also added another garden to my repetoire,  visiting RHS Bridgewater, I would like to go back and see the canal route, but the actual gardens are really lovely. It was a stunning day and everyone was having fun.  

British bullies. .

 I am a white British 70 year old.  Yesterday, standing in support of the families in the local asylym hotel I was verbally abused and called a pr....k by a man who is more of a threat to me than any future citizens waiting for their legal asylum claim will ever be.   He wasn't alone.  About 10 Labour party, Green party and other locals who knew that the residents were no trouble were celebrating the diverse history of this land, while white, mostly male, opponents of asylum seekers swaggered across the road with their ignornance and aggression.   If the police had not been there blood would have been shed.  They claimed only 1 child was in the hotel, which suggests that they were not local or informed   So they were there for trumped up reasons and just wanted shout and show off and cause trouble -just like the Taliban and other brutes who have forced so many people to seek aylum.  

The presence of theese avowed Tommy Robinson supporters was threatening enough, but what was additionally depressing was the seeing so many young children being brought out to learn hate and hearing so many beeping motorists spilling out that hate, that xenophobia.   In addition, our local MP, Lewis Cocking is fueling that hatred with his speeches in and out of parliament.  Shame on him.   

I have long known that Broxbourne is a racist area, the hidden tension mostly lie beneath the surface but sometimes they erupt.  The tiny group of pro refugee supporters were completely outnumbered by the bullies so retreated to avoid being hurt but that meant leaving the poor aylum seerks stuck in the hotel will a threatening mob outside, which must have felt awful.   

At home I turned into the Proms, famous of course for being the bastion of Britishness, but actually it was a celebration internationalism with performers from north and south America.   That an the allotment has reduced how stressed I feel bbut if an hour facing these thugs has left me feeling so bereft how must it feel to constantly face them.