History and buns, creativity and nostalgia.

I have succombed to two sticky buns, a reaction to anti Muslim comments at the pottery group I have just rejoined.  We all tried to navigate the tension to something manageable, and I was able to make a couple of comments that may have impacted from my experiences in Senegal and Kyrgyzstan,  and because even 30 years ago Broxbourne school had Muslim students, but is painful, for all. There they were happy in their ignorance and along comes this newcomer, who challenges them, but then hates, the tension it causes.  Same on the allotment,  challenging them there about digging.   Anyway I have succombed to two buns to cope but am now buried in an exploration of food in Wormley in the 17th Century, to distract myself.    I have it in mind to explore our local food culture from the Abbey to the plethora of excellent Turkish cafes in the area. 

The other day I was in woke heaven.  The new V and A is testament to what blending cultures can do for creativity.  There was a queue to get in it has proved so popular and in the lobby there were young people playing reggae.  30 years ago similar youths would have been on tower blocks in Hackney champtioning pirate radio. Today they are part of the establishment.  Reform would hate it.  

But things both move forward and backwards.    Stratford Royal Theatre, opened in 1884.  The area wasn't rich, but with the support of a coal merchant got a small theatre.  Electricity arrived in 1902.  Nearby Hackney built its theatre around the same time, also with electricity.   Having just been to both of them, they are glorious reminders of the past,  and how theatres can attract diverse audiences.

  

The musical The Harder They Come, based on the Jimmy Cliff film was first devised at the theatre at the beginning of this century,  and we went to the opening night of its 2026 revival.   I loved it.  My brother had been into ska and I heard and enjoyed standard singles from Bob Marley, but I didn't and don't think of it as my kind of genre particularly, but listening to all those tunes again, embedded in the story, brought out the lyrics, making me realise that whilst R, my partner,  as someone of Jamaican heritage, understands those beats, much more than a white kid in Kent, something about them had entered my story, much more than I had realised.  And of course when N was little I introduced him to the story and the music too.   

Black people have lived on these shores since at least Roman times, the first followers of Islam came to live in the UK in the 16th century,  as Elizabeth sought to benefit from trade relations with places like Morocco.  Yet in small town England, people can still say, why should local Muslims have a mosque!  And my waistline, suffers in protest. 

Wise words and wonderful walks.

 When I was first an elector, I voted Labour, we were in Ed Heath country!, and I used to fight with my best mate, Brie, whose birthday it would have been today, but she died recently, we used to fight as I was left and she was right. So it never would have occured to me that I would be grateful for a Tory, but this week as the Tories mostly kept Reform out of my Borough, it was thank goodness for the Tories. I came third again.  Thank you kind voters.  And on the whole the Green Party did much better than before.  

The other reason for being grateful to a Tory is the wonderful railway journeys done by Michael Portillo, it was because of him that I suddenly realised I could visit the south of France in spring because that was how it was originally done and because of him I have become aware of all sorts of routes.  But recently I have been ahead of him. He has just done a series on Japan, which enabled me to reminisce about the places I went to you and learn about the many places I did not get to and now he is in Uzebekistan, but I visited there whilst studying to be a journlist so during my 20s.  

It is so long ago I cannot remember the full details - my sister, Dad and I had visited Moscow and Leningrad over Christmas the year I divorced and I must have gone back to the Soviet Union in the March of that year , or the year after, as I was so taken with it.  We visited Moscow again, and then I think flew down to Samarkand and onto Bukara and back via Taskkent.  I remember our flight was delayed, so we missed quite a lot of Samarkand, but in the evening I went up to see what I could see. I was frightened by some dogs,  fear of rabies, and a man called the dogs and I somehow gestured to him I was trying to look at probably the Registan Square.  Well he took me inside the building and showed me some of it, before I perhaps stupidly took fright and thought I had better get back to the hotel.  It was suprisingly cold in Samarkand, they had snow, which was unusual at that time. It might have been in Bukara that we saw women celebrating International Women's Day, the first time I had heard of the festival.   The country now, based on TV shows, is now very modern in places, but Samarkand and Bukara are timeless and wonderful.  I bought the black hat, you can see in the picture, at a factory we were taken to, and even though it was a man's hat, everyone liked that I was wearing it.  I got lots of thumbs up.  My coat came from Laurence Corner, which was once a famous shop for all sorts of eccentric items.   Amazingly I still have the skirt that is in the picture. Very green.  

Such a long time ago,  but shows I was interested in travel even then, this year what with the war in Iran and everything most of my trips will be very local, but there is still so much to learn. For example I went on a Rogation Pilgramage on Sunday in Hampstead and on Hampstead Heath.  It was quite painful in many ways as it took me back to living in the area, but that was also why I wanted to do it.  I learned so much about a place I had lived near to for a long time.  For example we started with the graves of Constable and Harrison, the clock maker, then to a French church, where Graham Greene was married and where De Gaulle worshipped during the war.  It was built by a French refugee and allowed to be built as it was specifically for the Frnech community in the local area, despite Britain being at war with France at the time.  On past the Quakers to a more modern gothic church, at almost the highest point in London and from there onto the heath, and the boundary way markers between St Pancras and Highgate Vestry.  I was distracted a bit much of the time by one of the other participants.  Was he, or was he not, but then blown away to discover one of the other pilgrims had gone to school in Broxbourne with my son!  Rogation is to do with community and agriculture, so I figured I can do that, but the most sacred space we touched was the beech tree cathedral.   Heavenly.  I need to return.  

St Mary's with x in the background?

Wales, Wales, and Worcester.

As a Green an unnatural period of heat, and sun, is a concern.  As a traveller how extraordinary to be in Wales and have non stop sunshine in April.  It was bliss.   

St David's Cathedral with the ruins of the Bishop's Palace behind. 

That being said a few things did not quite work, but in the end, it does not really matter. One I slipped in the bath (again) whacked my face, and shock myself up,  but luckily no long lasting effects. (I was having the bath to ease out my very painful back, so one pain, helped cancel out another!)  Two and this I have taken longer to get over, despite the brilliant weather,  I did not get on the boat to Ramsey Island which was what I was really trying to do on the holiday.  It was very frustrating in many ways as to have non stop sun is almost unheard of in Wales but it still wasn't the right weather for my trip, so it got cancelled.  A later trip would have happened, but there were not enough people signed up to do it, and frustratingly, with another company, they too did not have enough people to go out.  So several people had made the effort to get to St. David's and spent money too, to get there, but their trip did not happen, partly because the boat companies have not found a way to work together for everyone's benefit!  And there is quite a bit of hanging around before all this is worked through, which when the sun and sea beckon is frustrating.  

Whitesands Beach

Caefie Beach

All of that could have potentially spoilt the trip, but when the sun shines that part of Wales is so lovely it is not such a problem.  I started in Havefordwest and at one time it must have been a handsome place, but arriving late in the afternoon it was almost all shut.  However,  I could explore the remains of an old abbey and look up at the broken walls of what must at one time have been an awe inspiring castle, so that felt like a mini adventure.   There was so little there, I was able to catch an earlier bus next morning onwards to St. David's.  Too early to sign in to the hotel, I headed downhill, with case, to the Cathedral.  It is the most wonderful sight.  Pictures do not do it justice and inside it has a lovely energy.  But I was also there for brunch with welshcakes. However, if I could have I would have been tempted just to sit and sit in the peace of the nave.   When my boat trip did not happen the following day,  I returned and spent more time there.  Apparently if you do two trips to St. David's that is the equivalent of a pilgramage to Rome, but not sure if two brunches count.  

The other enticing thing about St David's is that you can see the sea from this tiny city, and it was so inviting I found myself walking across a field down towards St Nons but instead arrived in Port Clais just in time for the bus.  I was so careful with my footing trying to hurry to catch the bus but not fall, it is ironic that it was a bath than felled me.   The following day, I returned to the area to explore a bit more, going up the hill, sitting and just watching the sea and the sky, and then going back down the hill in time for the bus again, but this time onto the beach for the afternoon.  

A long time ago, my brother was sun burned so badly on a Welsh beach he had to go to A and E, so dozing on the beach I was mindful,  but it was lovely to bask in the heat and just watch the dogs and a couple of kids love running up and down on the largely empty beach.   I was tempted to stay long, but figured that despite the apparent regularity of the buses, it would be good to get back to St. Davids in time for tea and cake.    However, at that moment the buses failed me,  and by the time I got back the cafes were shut, so intead I had very nice fish, with so many chips I could not finish it all.   Rather than throwing them away something inspired me to take them with me and as it felt too early to go back to the hotel, I explored futher and found myself on the cliffs overlooking Caefai beach.   Here the birds were wheeling and keen eyed, but the wind stopped them landing on the harvest I had saved.  But as I left, I scatted the chips and the birds ensured no litter remained.  A lovely ending to the time there. 

Breakfast next day was a bus ride away in Fishguard, lunch in Aberglasny Gardens, with aforementioned brother, and wife, where it was so hot, we had to seek out the shade of the wild flower meadow and the evening meal was in Brecon with more of the family and live music.  Happy Days.  Saturday I spent almost the whole day in the garden, apart from doing my second Brecon park walk, but Sunday, and this was the event which sparked the whole trip we went to Builth Wells for the Wonder Wool event.  I bumped into someone who had been at the trip I did in January, and loved seeing all the beautiful wools but it was the weaving that really captured me. 

A surprise in Brecon (One of Dad's aquisitions, looking for a new home 

With my bus pass, I can't get free travel in Wales, but it is still good value to use the different routes, apparently the direct bus to Cardiff has stopped, so I have missed a trick there, but the route through to Hereford still operates, so that was where I headed next, on route to see a friend in Worcester.  And there the weather finally turned and there was a very cold wind, but the Commandery is a great place to stop and learn more about this area and a part of British history which is absolulutely seminal but not always covered in depth in school.   

Worcester

These days trips abroad are more complicated, so it was wonderful to discover part of a previously unknown bit of Wales and to revisit places, but to see them from a new perspective.    I am already hoping I will get to return as there is still so much more to see and experience and who knows, perhaps I will one day see the birds flying over Skomer. 

Aberglasny

A modernised version of the Mapa Mundi

This time last week...

 Just over a week ago, I was in clover.   The sun was shinning, I was in a dance studio and London seemed new and shiny.  I attended a flamenco dance session along with several other women over 55 as part of the new Sadlers Wells festival.   I was pleased my body seemed to cope, at least relatively well and even better, managed to then visit the new V and A storehouse, then rest on a seat, close my eyes, before heading back up to Waltham Cross for a green party meeting.  A full on day was always going to be a challenge, especially as my back has been giving me grief for a bit, but the last week, I have been in agony, so much so that I have had to cancel part of my date and two garden visits.   I did however, get to the final performance of Marie and Rosetta,  and had the most brilliant French meal out before hand.  Beverley Knight can sing a tune or two, she is worth seeing, even if sitting and watching is painful. 

The studios in the new Sadlers Wells, Stratford. 

I just read about a lovely sounding Swedish woman who introduced the world to the idea of death cleaning,  I think I am beginning to start this process,  gradually clearing my home and mind, very gently so my family have a more managable situation when I die. (My step dad did this, but it still took two years to clear his home and of course we all wish we had made more note whilst he was alive) She says though as we age we should not complain about our aches and pains, but I just did.  At the very least though what happens when we are conscious that our body is acting out even more than normal.  It sort of takes me back to teenage hood, that feeling of being judged, and out of control,  I worry, I won't be able to manage, that I will pee at the wrong time or in the wrong place. And then what about how to manage relationships, especially if one's partner is fitter.   However, of course it is still better to be alive and pondering these potential futures, at least at this point, rather than not be here!

Sunny day in Stratford at Sadlers Wells. 

PS,  I now understand my brother more, he sort of welcomes death, whilst endeavouring to live life to the full, which is why he has just appeared in a scratch version of Dido and Aeneaus with Mid Wales Opera very proud of him and at the other end of life, my nephew is lambing in Denmark, so also very proud of him. 

 

Shocks from the present and the past.

 I had a lovely couple of days with friends in Suffolk this week.  I have known this person now much longer than I realised but spending proper time together, bought unexpected revelations.  We both shared examples of having unwanted sexual touching/ attention.   Her from a doctory,  ghastly.    But then we also sat and watched some of the inaugeration of the first ever female Archbishop of Canterbury, which was moving and powerful and life affirming.   Although we hear some African churches might leave the Anglican Church now as a result, it was good to see female bishops from Kenya for example at the service. Apparently they had female bishops before we did.  

Bury St. Edmunds

I mentioned in passing on my school What's app about watching it and somehow Sarah Mullally's comment safeguarding resulted in a most painful but open revelation about how many of school mates had been abused by neighbours and uncles when they reached the age of 10 and none of them had told anyone.   Sad and very sobering.  most of these women I have not seen since we were at school.  I  now know them better then I did back then.  Luckily a tea at our old school has been arranged, so it will be lovely to meet them again. 

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Good news and bad news.  I was wrong to be so despondent about some of the things in the allotment, I have a no dig bed sanctioned at last.   but the leading light of the Harmony Gardens, only just reopened, has announced they are leaving.  Not sure what any of this means.  I have found a third garden, but ....

And somehow despite pouring over my taxes and I thought having paid all taxes owing, have had a fine, for something but none of the paper work adds up so heaven knows what it is for.   Also as have lost my bank card, I cannot even check this information online.  And as bad things now go in fours,  the new computer upstairs in the study seems to have died, sort of.   So thousands owing and all the lovely cheap and inspiring things I do, seem to be going pear shaped!. 

War.

I am working with a nice couple from Iran,  they left before war started, and must be desparate to know more about what is happening back home, but instead they focus on their English.  Any minute now they could be chucked out of the hotel that has been their home and as the local hotel which was full with lovely children and their parents is due to be closed. I spend hours challenging the online haters.  They make me very depressed. 

But so called friends often make us even more depressed.  My santuary the allotment has again been taken away.  When the good guys are bad, where does that leave one,  when the bad guys are bad it is easy to know the battle one is fighting but when the good guys cannot see h ow off course they are then what.  So whilst I am very grateful to both the Green Party and the allotment, it is amazing how much pain they have also caused. 

Today, despite feeling rough I was determined to get to an exhibition recommended to me at the Imperial War Musuem. It is years since I have been there, but my recent visits to Malaysia and Cyrprus, made some of the content vital and with my family connections to Kenya personal.   Britain was both the oppressor, the bad guy and in some instances the good guys, because many Malays, Cypriots, and Kenyans fought along side their colonial masters during WW2, but after the war, Britain did not want to extend freedome to the colonies, so former allies fought.  Britain is still paying out compensation for the torture done in Kenya and Cyprus.  We never were and are not an honourable people.  

What would Freud make of it all!.

 A friend said to me recently, oh but you could have had a much better job if you had wanted. I was a bit thrown. I have known this person over 30 years but they still do not seem to understand that for the last 20 years of my working life, I was only able to work part time, for health reasons, and re work I was mostly totally buggered working at the college because of their bullying and illegal practices.  I also thought being a full time teacher was pretty good and it would have been had things not gone pear shaped work wise.    That apart it has been a brilliant week because despite feeling knackered today, I have been well enough this week to meet up with three friends in one week - lunch, concert and a play,  and how lucky to have three friends with whom to meet up.   That feels special too.  Retirement is lovely, but tinged with sadness over what is to come.   20 years ago there was time for reinvention,  but it did not happen,  10 years ago I started travelling to all the places I never got to when working full time, but anything else I might of wanted to do it seemed too late. Last year though I finally did some acting and singing and this year more dancing, I always said however I would need to live to over 200 to see everything and do everything I wanted to, yet most of the time I just do more of the same and none in any great depth, so not the most creative life, but more creative than some. 

Reminded me very much of his home that I visited in Vienna.

But of course we do everything with a back drop of real things going on and this week, it feel closer to the start of WW3 than at any other time in my life. There have always been dreadful things, wars that scare ones, murders that panic one, MPs that make one despair, and every year it does seem to get worse. Trump type 1 was a nightmare, now he seems crazier than ever, invading bombing and yet whilst leading a peace group!  Everything was always mad, but it is constantly getting madder.  So there's a lot to be said for getting ready to vacate this place, but of course most of us never want to go.  Wonder what Freud would make ot it all. 

Freud's London home.