I felt lucky to recognise and know a couple of the staff on duty and after the first session was happy enough but tired from the up and down up and down to get to the event. I struggled to keep up with the topic feeling like a real newbie in a language class, who discovers all the other students can already speak the language, but Saturday I felt more tuned in and by Sunday I was positively floating. I had dropped out of the morning session to visit what I had stupidly thought was the art gallery of Antiga till I realised it was the Museum of National Antiques a sort of mini British Museum that had some stunning images of the Madonna and child from the Netherlands, but also many artefacts demonstrating how far and wide Portugal's empire and sphere of influence had been before the British took over many of its colonies. I took this step as I knew there would be two further sessions with Mooji later on and I felt that things might click more if I took a step back a bit. Certainly that Sunday afternoon session I felt a major shift, whether it was because I was nearer the front or just more awake, I really felt a shift from the drugged feeling of earlier in the week to one of complete openness and peace. After the session I just was happy to sit and be quiet, just like many other people who flopped on the grass all around me. But as the last session was up and rocking Bhadjans it was lovely to have this quiet time before just enjoying oneself. All the singers were brilliant. Nirmal especially almost levitated with energy.
But how does one sustain this kind of happiness, it feels almost too intense whenever I feel out and out happiness. I also felt leaden with tiredness and also greatly more self conscious as if having thoughts was now an issue by the time Monday came around. In fact, I absented myself from half of the afternoon session only coming back in in time for Mooji to declare it is enough. However, I do understand that this is a process, and one I am not really familiar with so I was very happy and lucky to go out for a meal with another attendee and just share bits of our history and knowledge of Mooji and similar retreats. It was also just nice to be with another person and have a lovely meal. I was hesitant about where to go at first and then remembered the area near Rossio which has some enticing looking places. I was initially thinking we were going for something really tucked away and Lisboan, but we happily allowed ourselves to go with the patter of a friendly waitress and allowed ourselves to be talked into dorada in a very touristy but also very Portuguese restaurant. It was a great night out.
And then all too soon is was over. I ducked out of the morning session, and headed to the beach and the peace of the waves but was happy to attend the final session. However, it was mostly a Mooji farewell, and then that was it we all just went over to the four corners of the globe. I am still processing it and trying to decide if it resonates with me or not, but I am very glad to have attended and seen Lisbon on a sort of day to day basis. Having a breakfast at the hotel set me up and the local supermarket sold hot soup and sausages and chicken so it was easy to provide simple food without having to go to a restaurant all the time, then for the last night I treated myself to a day in Sintra and a night at the lovely Palace of Spices hotel. This place just made me laugh out loud with pleasure, greeted by the "owner" of the house, and encouraged to partake of Ginja and help myself to cake it was just fabulous and as the rain poured down I sat in the Palace library and finished my book. Heaven.
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