It has been rather surreal recently talking to students as all the Chinese students have been at home on extended leave because of the Coronavirus. Talking about topics like stress and health has been the perfect opportunity to ask how they are coping. My most regular student did manage to travel back from his home town to Shanghai but is having to work from home.
In my personal life though for the last month or so I have been having a nice time, a new man, with whom to chat and share life's details. We had a wonderful trip to the ballet and meal out and can chat on the phone for a good couple of hours. But when I told him my experience of being defrauded. He said what have you learned? Not I am sorry to hear that happened to you, but rather well idiot you for not being able to spot a sneaky snake in the grass. So clearly my explaination about trying to make a difference in my life and me going through a terrible time at the time cut no ice - I was to blame for my own poor situation. That aside all seemed well. Then I went for a weekend at his house. Lovely, lovely time. Except when I only spent 10 minutes in the shower he attacked me for not doing what women all over the world to keep clean. I went online trying to work out what on earth he might be talking about. Just by chance I alighted on the NHS page first read it out to him, and even though it confirmed all I thought about how to wash, he said it was wrong. But he could not tell me what he thought I had failed to do in my 10 minutes. My buttons pushed my fight or flight kicked in. And so did his - he was outraged, that someone would shout at him. And it genuinely affected him, so clearly was not nice for him. But he worked hard to convince me to stay. Even though I kind of thought, oops I am the kind of person, who does shout when attacked, so perhaps this will not work.
Nevertheless our chats later on seemed to show peace had broken out (always seems weird that expression) and so I spent the week cleaning my flat thoroughly, getting in water (bottled only for my guest) and planning our meal. I wanted to do something special but know my kind of cooking is not to everyone's taste. But fish was an option, so fish was chosen - a dish I have only tried once but hoped would be nice. I tried to convey all this to my new man. I had a back up meat dish ready too. It happened to be my birthday weekend and would have of course told him, but was not planning to make more of it than that but thought how lovely to be in his company on the day.
Friday did not start well I woke up ready to start work at 8 only to find that the internet was off. BT.
My new downstairs neighbours are trying to get a phone line installed, but as BT seems to think their address is my address. I was losing in on 150 when an engineer with very confusing information on his work sheet arrived. Luckily he resolved the problem, but too late for my stress levels to be up there and a day's work be lost. When my man arrived he helped calm me down, which was very nice of him, with a funereal bunch of flowers and the comment that he would help me sort out the garden, I have lovingly nurtured. Despite that we seemed to be doing well. Concentrating on the kitchen was very hard but I made the meal, he liked the roti, refused to try and red rice, did not eat much of the main, so I suspected it was not his thing, but he refused the meat alternative. Now if only that had been the last of it. You cannot cook, was the remaining them of the next few hours. So I tried apologising that what I had cooked was not what he wanted, but did stand up for myself and say, other people have enjoyed my cooking. I was just sorry he had not. Come our meal out for my birthday. He unleashed a complete tirade, how can a British woman not know how to cook, did not my mum teach me to cook (which she did, but not how he cooks) it was like I had caused him this massive offence and as if I had deliberately done it to him. It was extra-ordinary. In the end I curled up inside. When I suggested several hours later that we talk about it, he asked if he should leave. I said it was up to him, so he left and his nasty message after confirms his view that he has been hard done by. I am sad, angry, my ego has been dented, but basically back on my own again and that is a shame as there were lots of positive in between the insults.
Meanwhile my internet and phone went off again, I have lost all the income from the weekend and yesterday. I am piggy backing on downstairs newly installed internet to write this, but the signal is not strong enough for me to work. So it has been a totally shitty weekend and until the engineer comes (hopefully today) I cannot work, and I just feel miserable. However, at least I did not bring back a virus with me from China.
Meanwhile with no proper phone I cannot pursue my case against Mr. Banjo, but it looks like he has not just fooled me but he has also fooled the CPS lawyers. Apparently a man who confesses he has taken money from an acount that is purely a business account, is not behaving illegally. The police officer in charge did offer to try and intervene but I have not heard from again. Meanwhile having been told I could complain about the CPS I have since been told that I cannot complain. So the CPS and POlice let go someone who has admitted to the crime! One despairs. I will follow it up as much as I can, but then if I cannot move forward that way have to work out whether there is a way to find Mr. Banjo's address and take out a civic case, despite it being a crime. There was a recent report out that said people have in effect given up on reporting crime as they know there is no point. I know how they feel.
Meanwhile I have scuppered my self, as despite Brexit, I am still in the UK, and really do not know what to think about any of it Anyway time to try and move forward, it is 2020, A new year and hopefully some positive times ahead.
In my personal life though for the last month or so I have been having a nice time, a new man, with whom to chat and share life's details. We had a wonderful trip to the ballet and meal out and can chat on the phone for a good couple of hours. But when I told him my experience of being defrauded. He said what have you learned? Not I am sorry to hear that happened to you, but rather well idiot you for not being able to spot a sneaky snake in the grass. So clearly my explaination about trying to make a difference in my life and me going through a terrible time at the time cut no ice - I was to blame for my own poor situation. That aside all seemed well. Then I went for a weekend at his house. Lovely, lovely time. Except when I only spent 10 minutes in the shower he attacked me for not doing what women all over the world to keep clean. I went online trying to work out what on earth he might be talking about. Just by chance I alighted on the NHS page first read it out to him, and even though it confirmed all I thought about how to wash, he said it was wrong. But he could not tell me what he thought I had failed to do in my 10 minutes. My buttons pushed my fight or flight kicked in. And so did his - he was outraged, that someone would shout at him. And it genuinely affected him, so clearly was not nice for him. But he worked hard to convince me to stay. Even though I kind of thought, oops I am the kind of person, who does shout when attacked, so perhaps this will not work.
Nevertheless our chats later on seemed to show peace had broken out (always seems weird that expression) and so I spent the week cleaning my flat thoroughly, getting in water (bottled only for my guest) and planning our meal. I wanted to do something special but know my kind of cooking is not to everyone's taste. But fish was an option, so fish was chosen - a dish I have only tried once but hoped would be nice. I tried to convey all this to my new man. I had a back up meat dish ready too. It happened to be my birthday weekend and would have of course told him, but was not planning to make more of it than that but thought how lovely to be in his company on the day.
Friday did not start well I woke up ready to start work at 8 only to find that the internet was off. BT.
My new downstairs neighbours are trying to get a phone line installed, but as BT seems to think their address is my address. I was losing in on 150 when an engineer with very confusing information on his work sheet arrived. Luckily he resolved the problem, but too late for my stress levels to be up there and a day's work be lost. When my man arrived he helped calm me down, which was very nice of him, with a funereal bunch of flowers and the comment that he would help me sort out the garden, I have lovingly nurtured. Despite that we seemed to be doing well. Concentrating on the kitchen was very hard but I made the meal, he liked the roti, refused to try and red rice, did not eat much of the main, so I suspected it was not his thing, but he refused the meat alternative. Now if only that had been the last of it. You cannot cook, was the remaining them of the next few hours. So I tried apologising that what I had cooked was not what he wanted, but did stand up for myself and say, other people have enjoyed my cooking. I was just sorry he had not. Come our meal out for my birthday. He unleashed a complete tirade, how can a British woman not know how to cook, did not my mum teach me to cook (which she did, but not how he cooks) it was like I had caused him this massive offence and as if I had deliberately done it to him. It was extra-ordinary. In the end I curled up inside. When I suggested several hours later that we talk about it, he asked if he should leave. I said it was up to him, so he left and his nasty message after confirms his view that he has been hard done by. I am sad, angry, my ego has been dented, but basically back on my own again and that is a shame as there were lots of positive in between the insults.
Meanwhile my internet and phone went off again, I have lost all the income from the weekend and yesterday. I am piggy backing on downstairs newly installed internet to write this, but the signal is not strong enough for me to work. So it has been a totally shitty weekend and until the engineer comes (hopefully today) I cannot work, and I just feel miserable. However, at least I did not bring back a virus with me from China.
Meanwhile with no proper phone I cannot pursue my case against Mr. Banjo, but it looks like he has not just fooled me but he has also fooled the CPS lawyers. Apparently a man who confesses he has taken money from an acount that is purely a business account, is not behaving illegally. The police officer in charge did offer to try and intervene but I have not heard from again. Meanwhile having been told I could complain about the CPS I have since been told that I cannot complain. So the CPS and POlice let go someone who has admitted to the crime! One despairs. I will follow it up as much as I can, but then if I cannot move forward that way have to work out whether there is a way to find Mr. Banjo's address and take out a civic case, despite it being a crime. There was a recent report out that said people have in effect given up on reporting crime as they know there is no point. I know how they feel.
Meanwhile I have scuppered my self, as despite Brexit, I am still in the UK, and really do not know what to think about any of it Anyway time to try and move forward, it is 2020, A new year and hopefully some positive times ahead.
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| Death knell of new relationship. |
The sorry saga and harrying of a man of colour continues into 2020. From 2015! Five precious years of life.
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