Lockdown announced again.

 

Shut out again and another lockdown has been announced.  

66

 Last night I received my invitation to continue working with my company - I am on a rolling contract since we suddenly became employed rather than self employed - and I was "pleased" to accept another year's work.    The irony is not lost on me. 6 years ago,  I bitterly resented working longer.  I still do mourn the lost opportunities the things that I had hoped to do, but now even if I did stop working, because of the virus,  I would not be able to do those things, so instead I will carry on working at least for now.   But getting the papers from the pension authority seemed very weird.  These papers so longed for seem alien really.  I started work when I was 13 - the regular fall of money into my bank - even if it was not much - has sustained me. Now once I decide to jack it in that will be it.   For now though I am lucky that I am still talking to the world and as all staff have to be graded or they will not be invited to carry on,  it is lucky that the world still seems happy to talk to me. 

29/10/2020  Having been asked to read over 100 pages of updated safety requirements, I have decided it is time to say to the agency that I sometimes work with that  I will not do any more one to one teaching. It is not that I think that these safety requirements are not essential,  I just no longer have the energy within me to read so many pages or to get on the bus and go to someone's house and hope that I will get on with the people inside.  The few one to one jobs I have had that have worked have been enormously rewarding, some of the most rewarding and also challenging of my life,  but I somehow just cannot pull myself up anymore to have the energy required to go there.  I want to do my own thing.   I will probably limp on with some online teaching as the pandemic is raging more and more and my potential future outgoings high as bathroom and kitchen for example need replacing, but even that sometimes seems like too much effort, I mostly just want to disappear, but will be interesting to see if in the end I regret not being more energised. 

On a sad note, my best friend from primary school has apparently passed away with cancer. It is years since we have been in touch, but I was suddenly contacted by another school friend and she was able to share the news with me.  So Deborah, this is for you.  I am thinking of you and really sad to hear of your passing. 

Fabulous Frankfurt, Distinctive Darmstadt and Lovely Laubach.

 

Sometimes one just wants to get away. Dark clouds seem to hang over almost everywhere, but it is still just about legal to get to Germany. Had I been from Wales or N.I. I might have been turned back but from England,  to my relief,  I stepped off the plan, handed in the form with details of my location for the next two days and went off to explore Frankfurt. 

It is a nice city, very multi - cultural, so after wondering around the shops including the lovely market, I happily accepted the idea of going for a Thali in one of the local restaurants with one of my fellow companions for the week.   It is good we met, as when I got lost two days later looking for him and a coach, I was spotted because he recognised my turquoise scarf.  

So who was he what were we doing there?  More of that later.  But first Darmstadt. There is probably one person who will understand why I went to Darmstadt and that is the person who I fell out with big time this year.  It is always a loss when a friendship cannot be sustained and I felt it going around this wonderful artists colony that I had studied during my degree.    It is all there and she would have loved it.  At the moment the breach is too great,  the relationship with my son so damaged, but time can be a healer. . What intrigues me is the size of the houses that these artists lived in,  they are big and it is just wonderful to see their designs but they did not seem to be struggling, unlike many of the beggars or down and outs in Frankfurt, however, despite their presence or maybe because of the colourfulness and the diversity of the population Frankfurt feels a nice place to potter and eat out or walk by the river.   And who knows you may suddenly even realise that there is a steam train running along side of you and the driver might wish you a happy, Guten Morgen. So it is a nice place for a few days.  

Laubach though is a tiny medieval village in the country and being "stuck" there for a week was a delight.  I and another 7 English speakers, including the fellow lover in Indian food,  were there to work with a group of German students who wanted to improve their English.      They already have good language, but maybe do not have the chance to use their language.  After years of just teaching online, it was very nice, but also demanding, to spend breakfast, lunch and dinner time and all the hours in between talking or doing activities with the "students".  There are lots of positives though for us volunteers as in return we get to know interesting people, have good food and company for a week, we get to do silly games and I even got to swim every morning in the hotel's tiny pool.   It is hard work, but it is a really lovely way to get to know people and more about the country and I have studied so much German history it was really lovely to be back in the country.  

Sadly before long the week was over. I wanted to stay running away,  so much of Germany beckoned, but even Germany is shutting down more and more.  So, reluctantly,  after managing to go to the cinema in Frankfurt and have a meal out with one of the students,  after returning from Laubach,  it was a short hop home to the UK and working back online.   The UK track and trace is still malfunctioning and so more and more of the country is in retreat, the whole economy is in retreat and the talks with the EU have stalled, so  the future is not looking bright but at least I escaped it for a bit. 

My talented son is getting creative.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbGSDOO9YOY&feature=youtu

Buggered

 Tried everything and failed.   

Fraud,  Brexit and Covid Virus and the intervention of a "friend" have all played a part in the situation, but last year I knew I had to act there and then and I did not,  so although I think the whole country is in trouble it looks like I am stuck there and it is my own fault.  I seem to have run out of road.  Unless I can suddenly marry an EU citizen I am buggered.  Not sure if I am actually married or not though so think that is a non starter.  Not just heart broken, sick, and there is nothing I can do about it.  

I have left my new tenant at home, and run away, am now in the past.