Creeking

 I got up late this morning, seem to have no energy, but faced 5 hours of teaching. However, two students have cancelled and a third one has not turned up.  If I was solely dependent on my income from teaching I would be in serious trouble at times.    Instead I am treating myself to Cole and Abel deliveries and lovely the taste of organic food and beginning to yearn for the allotment again as there is nothing better than picking fresh food, but then the odd mouldy product reminds me that even in the organic world not all is perfect. 

Here we are liked mothballed creatures gradually coming out into the sun, but across the waters in Europe, the vaccine has been rejected and the numbers receiving the jab so tiny as to be almost meaningless. It is baffling.    I suppose however, it might evidence which route is the right way medicine or leaving the thing to go its merry way.  

My step father has been into hospital and out again and survived, so that is very positive news. So many people going into hospital for something unconnected to the virus have picked it up in hospital that he was resisting going in for treatment, but then it became so urgent he had no choice but to go in.   I could not stay with my sister,  so had to stay in a hotel, and it was not clear if I would be able to see him, but in the end we were allowed to wave at him through the ward doors and when they opened, as they frequently did, have a conversation, till they swung shut again.  Very surreal. On the way up a throng of people were waiting for the train, some with masks akimbo,  mostly ignoring the death knell 1948 Government voice telling us all but essential travel was not permitted. 

Despite all the postives, I do not know why I feel down, maybe the world is returning and I am not sure how to deal with that, maybe i am on the move and regret the things I have not done whilst here or maybe I am not on the move and regret the lack of dynamism to change things.