Definitely the end of an era and probably the end of an era.

When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions”

Dad, Jeff, who was really struggling when seen at Christmas, lost his appetite and therefore had nothing to sustain him.  I did not know how to respond,  I was away, and perhaps stupidly didn't rush up there immediately, instead planning to get up north mid week but by then it was too late. I am glad to say he was not alone though at the end.  Thank you to my sister for making his last few years so positive and being there throughout his recent and more serious illness.        

Dad, ,he insisted I call him that, was not always the easiest of people to live with, but I owe him my life. Much as I love and loved my real Dad, he was not the person who spent a lifetime looking after me, my brother and my son.   Jeff, took us on,  he helped educate us,  cloth us, holiday us, treat us, stimulate us, everything.  There is nothing one can say that can say how much value one places on that.  I am very very very glad we had good times together,  for example on lovely trips to Lille, Portugal and Carcassonne, or when I saw him sing with his choir,  or just go up on the moors for a ride.  I am very glad that he went up and stayed with my sister because of the pandemic and had a family life again in his declining years.  

I had gone away because I knew that there were hard times to come, they just came sooner and perhaps ended sooner than expected. But other worrying things are going on too and sadly that means fewer visits to the coast at present.  I have been very very sad before when things have gone wrong in other people's relationship,  but on top of Dad's death, the blows have come heavier even than normal.    However, in the weekend before everything fell apart I was just blissfully ignorant in the Cotswolds enjoying good food and good company on a walking holiday with HF.  I was also having a mini challenge walking across a very muddy field, hoping I was going in the right direction and then falling over just as I got to my destination - Batsford Arboretum. .   There was something so calming walking amongst the giant trees and sitting in the winter sun with the valley stretched out in front of one. 

Bourton on Water