Just over a week ago, I was in clover. The sun was shinning, I was in a dance studio and London seemed new and shiny. I attended a flamenco dance session along with several other women over 55 as part of the new Sadlers Wells festival. I was pleased my body seemed to cope, at least relatively well and even better, managed to then visit the new V and A storehouse, then rest on a seat, close my eyes, before heading back up to Waltham Cross for a green party meeting. A full on day was always going to be a challenge, especially as my back has been giving me grief for a bit, but the last week, I have been in agony, so much so that I have had to cancel part of my date and two garden visits. I did however, get to the final performance of Marie and Rosetta, and had the most brilliant French meal out before hand. Beverley Knight can sing a tune or two, she is worth seeing, even if sitting and watching is painful.
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| The studios in the new Sadlers Wells, Stratford. |
I just read about a lovely sounding Swedish woman who introduced the world to the idea of death cleaning, I think I am beginning to start this process, gradually clearing my home and mind, very gently so my family have a more managable situation when I die. (My step dad did this, but it still took two years to clear his home and of course we all wish we had made more note whilst he was alive) She says though as we age we should not complain about our aches and pains, but I just did. At the very least though what happens when we are conscious that our body is acting out even more than normal. It sort of takes me back to teenage hood, that feeling of being judged, and out of control, I worry, I won't be able to manage, that I will pee at the wrong time or in the wrong place. And then what about how to manage relationships, especially if one's partner is fitter. However, of course it is still better to be alive and pondering these potential futures, at least at this point, rather than not be here!
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| Sunny day in Stratford at Sadlers Wells. |
PS, I now understand my brother more, he sort of welcomes death, whilst endeavouring to live life to the full, which is why he has just appeared in a scratch version of Dido and Aeneaus with Mid Wales Opera very proud of him and at the other end of life, my nephew is lambing in Denmark, so also very proud of him.
