Brie and Now you see us.

 In the last 24 hours I have learned the incredibly bright and interesting husband of a late friend has dementia, another person I know is being treated for cancer and two people have suddenly died. One local, one from my past.  Brie was my best friend at school. In some ways we could not be more different.  Her father was a police officer and her mum was like her a nurse.  She had a sister. Her family were so different to mine. We were all buttoned up and they were all let it hang loose.  I think I first really experience Chinese food at her house.  Her mum was my minimum (cos she was smaller than my mum) and my mum was her maximum.  I probably stayed over with her more than she did with me, but she came on holiday with me.  I will try and find some pictures of her in her short short skirt.  She was a Tory and I was in those days Labour.  I once remember leaving school and having a blazing row with her over deaf and blind charities!   We became friends over films.  I wanted to go to the cinema but did not have anyone to go with, then discovered she was going to see The Entertaining of Mr. Sloane and I joined her and after that we were very good friends till she moved to Scotland.   

She was more boyfriend orientated than I was, or much more experienced. My only visit to her in Scotland it was very interesting to see the work her mum was doing, but the energy was different, she had a fella and seemed a world apart, but then she came back down to England to train as a Nightingale. She worked at St. Thomas' for many years and she I definitely kept in touch.  I cannot remember whether it was then or when we were younger, probably the latter, but after a programme called Smith and Jones, she became Gabriel White and I was Halleluhah Black - players on our names and we communicated using these characters.  However, aside from that she seemed much posher and grown up than me, dating doctors etc, but then suddenly it turned out she was dating one of my flat mates!  So that was quite a turn up.  After that I got married, met John Green and I suppose somehow through me she met him too and they married.   In some ways John seemed to be the every day Brie, whereas she had become a "Nightingale a professional" but for many years I think they were good together. I loved visiting their various homes in  Woodbridge. I always thought she was better than me, better at life, they went to the pub, she cooked Sunday dinners etc, whereas my marriage had broken up.  But then John went through some bad times and the marriage did not survive and sadly nor did my friendship with Brie.  At some point John became my partner, but I think Brie had already broken off the friendship. She wrote to me saying something about no longer being on the fence.  I never really knew what it was about.  Many years later I visited Woodbridge and showed my then partner all the places I used to go with Brie and I bumped into her.  I think she was touched that I thought to show him where she lived but all attempts to communicate with her failed, so I should learn from that. Despite that  I was in Woodbridge last year with another partner. I always hoped that at some point I would see her again.   But clearly it was not to be.  

Woodbridge 2023. 

Ordinarily I would love to go to say goodbye, but how do you do that when you would not be welcome at the funeral.  I will try instead to one day quietly go up and see the grave.  I am saddened and interested to learn she had an autoimmune condition.  She was a very good nurse.  But also smoked and drank.  I wonder what the condition was.   I am also pleased to know she wants a green burial.  Something I would like too. I wonder if we would be more politically aligned now.  I suppose on Tuesday when they lay her to rest I can try and spend that time with her.  

Too much death at the moment.  I know it is always there and it is a great motivator for getting on with life.    Luckily I find with most people my age we can laugh at our bodily challenges and try to make the most of our lives. I feel incredibly blessed by how much I get to do.  Today for example I was in the Tate, having a tete a tete with friends I have known for some 30 odd years at an exhibition about female artists through the years.  Wow, wow, wow,  given that the art history degree I did seemed to think women artists did not really exist in the distant pass what a revelation to see these successful professional artists who succeeded despite the odds against them.