I have treated myself to a Good Friday special meal. Normally I would be with family but today I am alone and yet again not feeling that well but more worryingly - one of my sister's clients (she is a carer, one of her three jobs) has tested positive for the virus. So the question is does my sister have it too?
Friday, 10 April 2020
Thursday, 9 April 2020
To market, to market, to buy a fat pig. Home again, home again, take a good swig of coconut oil!
Amazon has tried to deliver my order of seeds, but the postie just dropped a card off. To my surprise in these lock-down days, it said I could pick it up as normal, so yesterday I popped up to my nearest proper town only to find the sorting office was in fact operating with new hours and was not open at all on Wednesdays. I took one look at the huge queue outside of Sainsbury's and decided that was definitely not feasible. I had visions of fainting with the wait, but to my surprise and delight the street market was on and they were selling fresh vegetables. And down the road in Broxbourne, my nearest but much smaller Sainsbury's had no queue. But having already slogged through the heat to get there, I had no more energy to get home, and had to wait for about half an hour before a bus came. Normally they come every 10 to 15 minutes so another sign of change. But given that it was a lovely day, it was quite nice just to sit and wait. Whilst up at the market I had seen a friendly neighbour, so for a moment, life felt almost normal except that normally I am not that keen on the bustle of market stalls. How things change.
But on the work front things seemed much bleaker. The topic was good and bad things at work, and the first student was an Italian doctor, who just declared they were terrible and she was followed by a Brazilian soldier who is training his recruits at a distance in readiness to deal with social unrest because of the virus. In a normal year the pollution kills an excess 30 or 50 thousand of us in the UK Terrible thought but what if less people are dying despite the now almost 10 thousand dead in the UK through the virus because there is so much less traffic about? And what if the closure of so much business and lockdown results in more deaths, than the virus as murder, suicide, depression kicks in. It is not an easy balance. Meanwhile in Wuhan people are out of lock-down, but if the wet markets, continue does this mean more risk or was the source of the virus elsewhere? I know China has actively helped some communities, lets hope that help comes to the people who are massively at risk in camps in places like Syria and Bangladesh. I am on a community ring round What's App group with my relatives in Kenya - every day a new prayer greets the day and I get regular enquiries after my health, which is very kind of them, but over the years the population of Kenya has been much more vulnerable the effects of disease (think of the deaths by malaria for example each year) and if the virus gets a grip there the implications will be much worse than they are here. However, judging by the harrowing and heartbreaking comments of patients or bereaved people and my Italian student things are bad enough here.
To my surprise I have had some advice re how to manage the virus from a well known expert on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I had contacted her to see if there were moves to try and get the Government to trial treating Coronavirus patients with massive doses of Vitamin C and to my delight she replied with some useful advice. She is an advocate for the use of Vitamin C, but also talks about things like iodine and coconut oil. She has sent 6 chapters for me to read, so I need to absorb the information to know more. I have read her book on the Paleo diet, but really really really struggle with it. The more I am told not to eat starch the more I buy! I think I am not alone in being my own worse enemy, so cannot tell if her treatments work as I have not fully tried them. But if what she says is true it could make a huge different the way this virus and other conditions are handled. Would not it be ghastly if people are dying unnecessarily and the treatment could be something fairly simple as a massive amount of Vitamin C!.
 |
| Smaller than normal but market still open! |
But on the work front things seemed much bleaker. The topic was good and bad things at work, and the first student was an Italian doctor, who just declared they were terrible and she was followed by a Brazilian soldier who is training his recruits at a distance in readiness to deal with social unrest because of the virus. In a normal year the pollution kills an excess 30 or 50 thousand of us in the UK Terrible thought but what if less people are dying despite the now almost 10 thousand dead in the UK through the virus because there is so much less traffic about? And what if the closure of so much business and lockdown results in more deaths, than the virus as murder, suicide, depression kicks in. It is not an easy balance. Meanwhile in Wuhan people are out of lock-down, but if the wet markets, continue does this mean more risk or was the source of the virus elsewhere? I know China has actively helped some communities, lets hope that help comes to the people who are massively at risk in camps in places like Syria and Bangladesh. I am on a community ring round What's App group with my relatives in Kenya - every day a new prayer greets the day and I get regular enquiries after my health, which is very kind of them, but over the years the population of Kenya has been much more vulnerable the effects of disease (think of the deaths by malaria for example each year) and if the virus gets a grip there the implications will be much worse than they are here. However, judging by the harrowing and heartbreaking comments of patients or bereaved people and my Italian student things are bad enough here.
To my surprise I have had some advice re how to manage the virus from a well known expert on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I had contacted her to see if there were moves to try and get the Government to trial treating Coronavirus patients with massive doses of Vitamin C and to my delight she replied with some useful advice. She is an advocate for the use of Vitamin C, but also talks about things like iodine and coconut oil. She has sent 6 chapters for me to read, so I need to absorb the information to know more. I have read her book on the Paleo diet, but really really really struggle with it. The more I am told not to eat starch the more I buy! I think I am not alone in being my own worse enemy, so cannot tell if her treatments work as I have not fully tried them. But if what she says is true it could make a huge different the way this virus and other conditions are handled. Would not it be ghastly if people are dying unnecessarily and the treatment could be something fairly simple as a massive amount of Vitamin C!.
Sunday, 5 April 2020
Tomb sweeping day - virtually a write off?
Today in China is Tomb Sweeping Day When a party is held to reconnect to the dead, except this year of course they cannot do it in situ. So there will be virtual tomb sweeping activities, just as in a week's time there will be virtual Easter celebrations here, and the virtual Grand National was run yesterday.
To my horror Keir Starmer has announced he will support a complete lock down if necessary - no one even allowed out to exercise. I think I could go mad if I am not allowed out and the lack of Vitamin D could be the end loads of us oldies. Let alone the number of murders that might take place in excess of the already ghastly norm. I appreciate caution is important but I would be tempted to rebel if that was imposed on us. I will sit on my pretend garden - the car parking space and refuse to go in. At least I have a car parking space.
But today I was so dispirited whilst out walking that I actually gave up on my daily exercise - there were a couple of surgical gloves littering the pavement and three discarded masks along with loads of other rubbish spoiling this green location- why would people who think that they need protection from a virus, think it is okay to them leave their potentially infected items to sour the environment? I give up sometimes, we are such a horrid species.
However, I took instead to tidying the pots that have taken over my car parking space and it was so lovely to see my neighbours come in from their cycle ride, glowing with health, and stopping for a moment's chat, whilst putting the bikes away. Then my downstairs neighbour came home and said "All right" in his normal jolly way and the neighbours two doors down pop[ed out to put the rubbish and also said hello so joyfully, it lifted my spirits again. We need this at this time. Really need it.
To my horror Keir Starmer has announced he will support a complete lock down if necessary - no one even allowed out to exercise. I think I could go mad if I am not allowed out and the lack of Vitamin D could be the end loads of us oldies. Let alone the number of murders that might take place in excess of the already ghastly norm. I appreciate caution is important but I would be tempted to rebel if that was imposed on us. I will sit on my pretend garden - the car parking space and refuse to go in. At least I have a car parking space.
But today I was so dispirited whilst out walking that I actually gave up on my daily exercise - there were a couple of surgical gloves littering the pavement and three discarded masks along with loads of other rubbish spoiling this green location- why would people who think that they need protection from a virus, think it is okay to them leave their potentially infected items to sour the environment? I give up sometimes, we are such a horrid species.
However, I took instead to tidying the pots that have taken over my car parking space and it was so lovely to see my neighbours come in from their cycle ride, glowing with health, and stopping for a moment's chat, whilst putting the bikes away. Then my downstairs neighbour came home and said "All right" in his normal jolly way and the neighbours two doors down pop[ed out to put the rubbish and also said hello so joyfully, it lifted my spirits again. We need this at this time. Really need it.
Friday, 3 April 2020
To bed, to bed, cried sleepy head.
I have taken to my bed, whether it is the virus or my M.E I do not know as the symptoms are so similar. I keep waking in the night fearful that this is it. However as I have been getting worse and worse for three weeks now and even though I often feel like I have a temperature, but then when I check I have not M. E seems the more likely cause. I also think it has finally occured to me taht I am locked up and so I feel I have retreated. The ideal would be to really retreat, really dig deep and go into some great creative maelstrom and have an epiphany, but instead I am just creating too much albeit wonderful food e.g. brownies made with coconut sugar and avocado and watching loads of movies and other treats. Last night the National Theatre production of Two Govnors, or something like that the play that launched Cordon'sAmerican career. and tonight it was the ROH's production of Acis and Galactea, which I had ushered for back in 2009. I remembered thinking then I wasn't sure what was going on, but now I have at last seen the rest of it. Still not sure what was going on but beautifully sung and some interesting dance. See the horrors of outside retreat until bed time.! Two good things though I have finished the work started in my now curtailed art group and I am genuinely pleased with it and I have structure through work and joy through the singng group I have joined online. Strange times.
Saturday, 28 March 2020
Three, three
Apparently a third of the population is self isolating right around the world. An extraordinary thought. Meanwhile three most conspicuous people in the country right now have also had to go into self isolation as they have the virus (or symptoms) , Boris Johnson, Matt Hancock, Health Minister! and the Chief Medical Officer, Chris Whitty.
Yet, weirdly my normal little isolated world goes on, lots of TV, lots of Netflix, cooking, knitting, gardening, tidying, singing, dancing. Just now so many other people are doing it too and there are whole magazine TV programmes about them doing it and how they are doing it. My signal though when teaching is definitely worse than it was, as so many people are online, so work being impacted. I have several students from Italy, where the heart break goes on, in China people are much more optimistic, children might go back to school in April, and students in Russia are self isolating, but they tell me that there is no virus in their country. More worryingly, and perhaps not surprisingly in Hong Kong where people have been returning to a more normal life, the virus has begun to return too.
Meanwhile although some of the actions of the government have been questionable, e.g. not stocking up on the resources that it would be clear that we would need, however, they have achieved something I had not thought that they could achieve, they are creating extra beds in exhibition centres around the country and they have managed to recruit back many old doctors and nurses and this week they launched through an app, a volunteer scheme to run through the whole country. The potential for change is so there, I hope some of it is lasting. I can see a scenario where there might be social unrest if this thing goes on for long, but things like the volunteer scheme also suggest an opposite trend, towards a more inclusive society. Apparently in South Africa there have been riots, but we also know in the UK it took us a bit of time to adjust, we still are, but we are getting there. And yet, in this world where I fear to almost go out, there are a legion of people going to work. Hard to get one's head around all this.
Yet, weirdly my normal little isolated world goes on, lots of TV, lots of Netflix, cooking, knitting, gardening, tidying, singing, dancing. Just now so many other people are doing it too and there are whole magazine TV programmes about them doing it and how they are doing it. My signal though when teaching is definitely worse than it was, as so many people are online, so work being impacted. I have several students from Italy, where the heart break goes on, in China people are much more optimistic, children might go back to school in April, and students in Russia are self isolating, but they tell me that there is no virus in their country. More worryingly, and perhaps not surprisingly in Hong Kong where people have been returning to a more normal life, the virus has begun to return too.
Meanwhile although some of the actions of the government have been questionable, e.g. not stocking up on the resources that it would be clear that we would need, however, they have achieved something I had not thought that they could achieve, they are creating extra beds in exhibition centres around the country and they have managed to recruit back many old doctors and nurses and this week they launched through an app, a volunteer scheme to run through the whole country. The potential for change is so there, I hope some of it is lasting. I can see a scenario where there might be social unrest if this thing goes on for long, but things like the volunteer scheme also suggest an opposite trend, towards a more inclusive society. Apparently in South Africa there have been riots, but we also know in the UK it took us a bit of time to adjust, we still are, but we are getting there. And yet, in this world where I fear to almost go out, there are a legion of people going to work. Hard to get one's head around all this.
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| Getting ready to face the outisde world in my Austen model face mask! |
Friday, 20 March 2020
The grim reaper
I taught a student the expression the grim reaper today. I talk to students in the eye of the storm in Italy and for months I have engaged with students sitting it out patiently in China. But now this thing is at our door. We thought Brexit and 9/11 were the events that marked out the history of our lives, but perhaps it is this virus brought about by people hacking animals to bit in a market or eating bats, or something horrid, that has unleashed something unknown and it feels like we are at the mercy of it, but also at the mercy of the politicians. We are always at the mercy of others, never the authors of our lives it feels, or we navigate our chunks of being around the things slung at us. One good thing in some ways is that it feels like a leveller, unlike Brexit we are all going through it but the unexpected consequences good and bad are astonishing. And maybe none of us will be the same again.
Ironically as someone who spends their life in a little room talking to the world, in some ways it could be argued my life is already so small it could not get smaller. A friend said when we have a small world sometimes we expand within that world and become bigger than ever and it is true in many ways I am very happy in my house, potter growing with the pleasure of food or cleaning or painting or whatever it is I drift into for a few minutes or ours, but normally this life is peppered with the joy and laugther or the angst of dealing with real people. I pop up to the shops for 10 minutes that is my life, that is my day, that is my normal day, but now millions of us are doing it to stop something that we cannot see or hear touch us and bring us down. Yet everything else has already come down, shops, bars, bit by bit closing, a year ahead planned now in tatters. How will we stand up to it. Sometimes I feel brave and think this is a moment to do something to help to make a difference and other times I shake with fear. I wish I could just have the damn thing, hope I survive it and help everyone move on. They say if enough of us had it that would save us, but that the cost and price of the number of deaths to get to that point is so bad, that we cannot do that, so although people all over the world die of pneumonia in great numbers, this thing has politicians tearing up all the fabric of life, as if they are hunting for something, whilst the rest of us cower, hunker, self isolate, quarantine. If I felt sad before, will this bring the exhilaration of danger, or just more and more sadness. It certainly will for some. I hope I am well enough to survive. But I can feel the anxiety gnawing at me. I have started biting my nails again and eating for comfort, at a time when I should be out in the sun, eating the purest of foods to help sustain life. Funny how we do exactly what we should not do. I went up to the shops the other day, I saw a man with loo paper in his bag from Waitrose, which is where I was headed, but I got there in time for the person before me just grab the last lot. I almost felt like crying. I cannot get into a car, and roam the streets looking for loo paper. I do not even need loo paper, not yet. I have worked out a big fat book I can piece by piece unwrite, just so I can wipe my arse on paper not too thick to clog up the systems at a time when most people will not be able to sort them out. Meanwhile the wind still comes in too strongly through my closed windows, the rain seeps in through the cracks in the roof and I have never scrubbed the house so much as if sitting still is beyond me now as I wait for something. We listen to the news endlessly and then cannot listen any more as it is too scary. Hey ho as Mr, Man used to say. First there was the big lie, then there was Brexit and now this. Historic times and interesting times, provided you survive them. As they used to say in Hill Street Blues, Stay safe out there, or something like that.
Ironically as someone who spends their life in a little room talking to the world, in some ways it could be argued my life is already so small it could not get smaller. A friend said when we have a small world sometimes we expand within that world and become bigger than ever and it is true in many ways I am very happy in my house, potter growing with the pleasure of food or cleaning or painting or whatever it is I drift into for a few minutes or ours, but normally this life is peppered with the joy and laugther or the angst of dealing with real people. I pop up to the shops for 10 minutes that is my life, that is my day, that is my normal day, but now millions of us are doing it to stop something that we cannot see or hear touch us and bring us down. Yet everything else has already come down, shops, bars, bit by bit closing, a year ahead planned now in tatters. How will we stand up to it. Sometimes I feel brave and think this is a moment to do something to help to make a difference and other times I shake with fear. I wish I could just have the damn thing, hope I survive it and help everyone move on. They say if enough of us had it that would save us, but that the cost and price of the number of deaths to get to that point is so bad, that we cannot do that, so although people all over the world die of pneumonia in great numbers, this thing has politicians tearing up all the fabric of life, as if they are hunting for something, whilst the rest of us cower, hunker, self isolate, quarantine. If I felt sad before, will this bring the exhilaration of danger, or just more and more sadness. It certainly will for some. I hope I am well enough to survive. But I can feel the anxiety gnawing at me. I have started biting my nails again and eating for comfort, at a time when I should be out in the sun, eating the purest of foods to help sustain life. Funny how we do exactly what we should not do. I went up to the shops the other day, I saw a man with loo paper in his bag from Waitrose, which is where I was headed, but I got there in time for the person before me just grab the last lot. I almost felt like crying. I cannot get into a car, and roam the streets looking for loo paper. I do not even need loo paper, not yet. I have worked out a big fat book I can piece by piece unwrite, just so I can wipe my arse on paper not too thick to clog up the systems at a time when most people will not be able to sort them out. Meanwhile the wind still comes in too strongly through my closed windows, the rain seeps in through the cracks in the roof and I have never scrubbed the house so much as if sitting still is beyond me now as I wait for something. We listen to the news endlessly and then cannot listen any more as it is too scary. Hey ho as Mr, Man used to say. First there was the big lie, then there was Brexit and now this. Historic times and interesting times, provided you survive them. As they used to say in Hill Street Blues, Stay safe out there, or something like that.
Tuesday, 11 February 2020
Bit of a shitty time, but things are worse in China
It has been rather surreal recently talking to students as all the Chinese students have been at home on extended leave because of the Coronavirus. Talking about topics like stress and health has been the perfect opportunity to ask how they are coping. My most regular student did manage to travel back from his home town to Shanghai but is having to work from home.
In my personal life though for the last month or so I have been having a nice time, a new man, with whom to chat and share life's details. We had a wonderful trip to the ballet and meal out and can chat on the phone for a good couple of hours. But when I told him my experience of being defrauded. He said what have you learned? Not I am sorry to hear that happened to you, but rather well idiot you for not being able to spot a sneaky snake in the grass. So clearly my explaination about trying to make a difference in my life and me going through a terrible time at the time cut no ice - I was to blame for my own poor situation. That aside all seemed well. Then I went for a weekend at his house. Lovely, lovely time. Except when I only spent 10 minutes in the shower he attacked me for not doing what women all over the world to keep clean. I went online trying to work out what on earth he might be talking about. Just by chance I alighted on the NHS page first read it out to him, and even though it confirmed all I thought about how to wash, he said it was wrong. But he could not tell me what he thought I had failed to do in my 10 minutes. My buttons pushed my fight or flight kicked in. And so did his - he was outraged, that someone would shout at him. And it genuinely affected him, so clearly was not nice for him. But he worked hard to convince me to stay. Even though I kind of thought, oops I am the kind of person, who does shout when attacked, so perhaps this will not work.
Nevertheless our chats later on seemed to show peace had broken out (always seems weird that expression) and so I spent the week cleaning my flat thoroughly, getting in water (bottled only for my guest) and planning our meal. I wanted to do something special but know my kind of cooking is not to everyone's taste. But fish was an option, so fish was chosen - a dish I have only tried once but hoped would be nice. I tried to convey all this to my new man. I had a back up meat dish ready too. It happened to be my birthday weekend and would have of course told him, but was not planning to make more of it than that but thought how lovely to be in his company on the day.
Friday did not start well I woke up ready to start work at 8 only to find that the internet was off. BT.
My new downstairs neighbours are trying to get a phone line installed, but as BT seems to think their address is my address. I was losing in on 150 when an engineer with very confusing information on his work sheet arrived. Luckily he resolved the problem, but too late for my stress levels to be up there and a day's work be lost. When my man arrived he helped calm me down, which was very nice of him, with a funereal bunch of flowers and the comment that he would help me sort out the garden, I have lovingly nurtured. Despite that we seemed to be doing well. Concentrating on the kitchen was very hard but I made the meal, he liked the roti, refused to try and red rice, did not eat much of the main, so I suspected it was not his thing, but he refused the meat alternative. Now if only that had been the last of it. You cannot cook, was the remaining them of the next few hours. So I tried apologising that what I had cooked was not what he wanted, but did stand up for myself and say, other people have enjoyed my cooking. I was just sorry he had not. Come our meal out for my birthday. He unleashed a complete tirade, how can a British woman not know how to cook, did not my mum teach me to cook (which she did, but not how he cooks) it was like I had caused him this massive offence and as if I had deliberately done it to him. It was extra-ordinary. In the end I curled up inside. When I suggested several hours later that we talk about it, he asked if he should leave. I said it was up to him, so he left and his nasty message after confirms his view that he has been hard done by. I am sad, angry, my ego has been dented, but basically back on my own again and that is a shame as there were lots of positive in between the insults.
Meanwhile my internet and phone went off again, I have lost all the income from the weekend and yesterday. I am piggy backing on downstairs newly installed internet to write this, but the signal is not strong enough for me to work. So it has been a totally shitty weekend and until the engineer comes (hopefully today) I cannot work, and I just feel miserable. However, at least I did not bring back a virus with me from China.
Meanwhile with no proper phone I cannot pursue my case against Mr. Banjo, but it looks like he has not just fooled me but he has also fooled the CPS lawyers. Apparently a man who confesses he has taken money from an acount that is purely a business account, is not behaving illegally. The police officer in charge did offer to try and intervene but I have not heard from again. Meanwhile having been told I could complain about the CPS I have since been told that I cannot complain. So the CPS and POlice let go someone who has admitted to the crime! One despairs. I will follow it up as much as I can, but then if I cannot move forward that way have to work out whether there is a way to find Mr. Banjo's address and take out a civic case, despite it being a crime. There was a recent report out that said people have in effect given up on reporting crime as they know there is no point. I know how they feel.
Meanwhile I have scuppered my self, as despite Brexit, I am still in the UK, and really do not know what to think about any of it Anyway time to try and move forward, it is 2020, A new year and hopefully some positive times ahead.
In my personal life though for the last month or so I have been having a nice time, a new man, with whom to chat and share life's details. We had a wonderful trip to the ballet and meal out and can chat on the phone for a good couple of hours. But when I told him my experience of being defrauded. He said what have you learned? Not I am sorry to hear that happened to you, but rather well idiot you for not being able to spot a sneaky snake in the grass. So clearly my explaination about trying to make a difference in my life and me going through a terrible time at the time cut no ice - I was to blame for my own poor situation. That aside all seemed well. Then I went for a weekend at his house. Lovely, lovely time. Except when I only spent 10 minutes in the shower he attacked me for not doing what women all over the world to keep clean. I went online trying to work out what on earth he might be talking about. Just by chance I alighted on the NHS page first read it out to him, and even though it confirmed all I thought about how to wash, he said it was wrong. But he could not tell me what he thought I had failed to do in my 10 minutes. My buttons pushed my fight or flight kicked in. And so did his - he was outraged, that someone would shout at him. And it genuinely affected him, so clearly was not nice for him. But he worked hard to convince me to stay. Even though I kind of thought, oops I am the kind of person, who does shout when attacked, so perhaps this will not work.
Nevertheless our chats later on seemed to show peace had broken out (always seems weird that expression) and so I spent the week cleaning my flat thoroughly, getting in water (bottled only for my guest) and planning our meal. I wanted to do something special but know my kind of cooking is not to everyone's taste. But fish was an option, so fish was chosen - a dish I have only tried once but hoped would be nice. I tried to convey all this to my new man. I had a back up meat dish ready too. It happened to be my birthday weekend and would have of course told him, but was not planning to make more of it than that but thought how lovely to be in his company on the day.
Friday did not start well I woke up ready to start work at 8 only to find that the internet was off. BT.
My new downstairs neighbours are trying to get a phone line installed, but as BT seems to think their address is my address. I was losing in on 150 when an engineer with very confusing information on his work sheet arrived. Luckily he resolved the problem, but too late for my stress levels to be up there and a day's work be lost. When my man arrived he helped calm me down, which was very nice of him, with a funereal bunch of flowers and the comment that he would help me sort out the garden, I have lovingly nurtured. Despite that we seemed to be doing well. Concentrating on the kitchen was very hard but I made the meal, he liked the roti, refused to try and red rice, did not eat much of the main, so I suspected it was not his thing, but he refused the meat alternative. Now if only that had been the last of it. You cannot cook, was the remaining them of the next few hours. So I tried apologising that what I had cooked was not what he wanted, but did stand up for myself and say, other people have enjoyed my cooking. I was just sorry he had not. Come our meal out for my birthday. He unleashed a complete tirade, how can a British woman not know how to cook, did not my mum teach me to cook (which she did, but not how he cooks) it was like I had caused him this massive offence and as if I had deliberately done it to him. It was extra-ordinary. In the end I curled up inside. When I suggested several hours later that we talk about it, he asked if he should leave. I said it was up to him, so he left and his nasty message after confirms his view that he has been hard done by. I am sad, angry, my ego has been dented, but basically back on my own again and that is a shame as there were lots of positive in between the insults.
Meanwhile my internet and phone went off again, I have lost all the income from the weekend and yesterday. I am piggy backing on downstairs newly installed internet to write this, but the signal is not strong enough for me to work. So it has been a totally shitty weekend and until the engineer comes (hopefully today) I cannot work, and I just feel miserable. However, at least I did not bring back a virus with me from China.
Meanwhile with no proper phone I cannot pursue my case against Mr. Banjo, but it looks like he has not just fooled me but he has also fooled the CPS lawyers. Apparently a man who confesses he has taken money from an acount that is purely a business account, is not behaving illegally. The police officer in charge did offer to try and intervene but I have not heard from again. Meanwhile having been told I could complain about the CPS I have since been told that I cannot complain. So the CPS and POlice let go someone who has admitted to the crime! One despairs. I will follow it up as much as I can, but then if I cannot move forward that way have to work out whether there is a way to find Mr. Banjo's address and take out a civic case, despite it being a crime. There was a recent report out that said people have in effect given up on reporting crime as they know there is no point. I know how they feel.
Meanwhile I have scuppered my self, as despite Brexit, I am still in the UK, and really do not know what to think about any of it Anyway time to try and move forward, it is 2020, A new year and hopefully some positive times ahead.
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| Death knell of new relationship. |
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