It is now over a year since I first started being embroiled and groomed by the man I believe conned me. Even though I know I have lost money when I see him or think of him, I almost cannot believe it happened to me, I still somehow want what he told me to be true. And if what I hear is true the man concerned is back in action so shortly another woman could be in the same position as me, trying to make sense of how she gave money to someone who on the face of it could absolutely be trusted but in the end turned out to be a very clever manipulater.
So this You and Yours guide to scams is very very helpful: http://www.bbc.co.uk/guides/zxq8frd
My "scammer" seemed to be honest, god fearing, wealthy, a member of a good family. I felt valued when I told him about some of the things that had happened in me in life. It felt lovely to share and he used that information to get to me. The police do want to speak with him to hear his side of the story or to charge him if the evidence from a range of women stacks up against him. So as well as looking for his address still, if anyone thinks they too may have been scammed by the same man I think scammed me, I would like to hear from them as working together may also be a way to close the door on fraud.
Thursday, 21 April 2016
Monday, 18 January 2016
Education and Retirement: An Enquiry into the Relevance of Education to the Enjoyment of Leisure in Later Life
So it is almost 6 months since I tried to type up Dad's interview that I conducted about 2007. Somehow grief, loosing money to some bloke, and loosing patience with work seem to have taken over - I seem to spend my days trying to get the police to chase up on fraud and me trying to work out why everything re work has gone pear shape. So just keeping going has seemed the priority but today I decided a bit more effort was required to update the story. So this chunk of work is connected to Brian Groombridge's book about Education and Retirement.
So that actually brings us back to the beginning of your story, because in a way, I was quite interested that you've written even as a young man you were interested in education for older people, so the obvious question is, can you give me a portrait of you as a young man, because of course I do not know that person.
That's a good question and I 'm not sure I'm capable of answering but I will at least explain to you specifically why I came to write the book published in 1960 when you know I was born in 1926 so I was still a relatively young man. I cannot take the credit for that. I was working then for the National Institute of Adult Education as it was then called. It is now called the National Institute of Adult and Continuining Education. Anyway it was N.I.A.E or the Institute as we used to call it, the boss of that was a wonderful man called Edward Hutchinson, one of the two or three people who have inspired me in the course of my life. He was in very close contact with an extraordinary man, who ran the organisation then known as the National Older People's Council, but then later known as Age Concern, and now known as Age UK, and that man was amazing because he had foreseen the demographic change that was going to come over this country. He saw it way ahead of time consequently when I was asked to write the book Education and Retirement, although it was the first book on this subject published in this country it was not the first book on this subject published in English because the Americans, for some reason, were in fact 10 to 20 years ahead of us, so that in academic circles in the United States you had actually people who were Social Gerontologists, specialising in the possibilities of continuing education even as you grew older and the Americans, forgive my little diversion, but just to show, for every 10yeras I think it was in the States had a White House even to do with adult education. They were way ahead of us politically.
Unfortunately, and I have this on good authority, unfortunately my book was so - not because of anything to do with me, but because of the credit of the man |I am referring to, it was so ahead of its time that the book never really had the influence that it needed to have. There were a few people who caught up with it and were therefore to some extent inspired and informed by it but if you ask most people when do you think people in this country became aware of the education possibilities of being old they will probably think two to three years after my book was published. I am not complaining, I am just explaining how the thing.. Sometimes an idea the zeigeist has to catch up. I think the zeitgeist did have to catch up. I didn't play a very strong part in converting the spirit of the age into intergenerational awareness of demographic shift because the marvellous thing is, not only has democracy changed but the belief in older people's learning capacity has changed because it is within my memory, and a lot of people much younger than me will remember that people used to talk about, "you're too old, too old, you are past it, mate." you know and a to be quite frank a lot of men died within a year or so of retirement. So what do we owe that to, we owe it to all sorts of things. In my case, and I think I am very typical, it has to do with 1) changed attitudes towards yourself, but 2) let's hear it. pharmaceuticals, there are now drugs that you can take, and I take 4 a day, which did not exist at one time and that drug helps me protect myself from having first degree heart boom, boom,boom. Yeah, I am not tell you isn't if wonderful I am important enough to live a long time, no, no I am telling you I've got an optimistic temperament. which is relevant and I take 4 tablets a day thank you very much pharmaceuticals.
So that actually brings us back to the beginning of your story, because in a way, I was quite interested that you've written even as a young man you were interested in education for older people, so the obvious question is, can you give me a portrait of you as a young man, because of course I do not know that person.
That's a good question and I 'm not sure I'm capable of answering but I will at least explain to you specifically why I came to write the book published in 1960 when you know I was born in 1926 so I was still a relatively young man. I cannot take the credit for that. I was working then for the National Institute of Adult Education as it was then called. It is now called the National Institute of Adult and Continuining Education. Anyway it was N.I.A.E or the Institute as we used to call it, the boss of that was a wonderful man called Edward Hutchinson, one of the two or three people who have inspired me in the course of my life. He was in very close contact with an extraordinary man, who ran the organisation then known as the National Older People's Council, but then later known as Age Concern, and now known as Age UK, and that man was amazing because he had foreseen the demographic change that was going to come over this country. He saw it way ahead of time consequently when I was asked to write the book Education and Retirement, although it was the first book on this subject published in this country it was not the first book on this subject published in English because the Americans, for some reason, were in fact 10 to 20 years ahead of us, so that in academic circles in the United States you had actually people who were Social Gerontologists, specialising in the possibilities of continuing education even as you grew older and the Americans, forgive my little diversion, but just to show, for every 10yeras I think it was in the States had a White House even to do with adult education. They were way ahead of us politically.
Unfortunately, and I have this on good authority, unfortunately my book was so - not because of anything to do with me, but because of the credit of the man |I am referring to, it was so ahead of its time that the book never really had the influence that it needed to have. There were a few people who caught up with it and were therefore to some extent inspired and informed by it but if you ask most people when do you think people in this country became aware of the education possibilities of being old they will probably think two to three years after my book was published. I am not complaining, I am just explaining how the thing.. Sometimes an idea the zeigeist has to catch up. I think the zeitgeist did have to catch up. I didn't play a very strong part in converting the spirit of the age into intergenerational awareness of demographic shift because the marvellous thing is, not only has democracy changed but the belief in older people's learning capacity has changed because it is within my memory, and a lot of people much younger than me will remember that people used to talk about, "you're too old, too old, you are past it, mate." you know and a to be quite frank a lot of men died within a year or so of retirement. So what do we owe that to, we owe it to all sorts of things. In my case, and I think I am very typical, it has to do with 1) changed attitudes towards yourself, but 2) let's hear it. pharmaceuticals, there are now drugs that you can take, and I take 4 a day, which did not exist at one time and that drug helps me protect myself from having first degree heart boom, boom,boom. Yeah, I am not tell you isn't if wonderful I am important enough to live a long time, no, no I am telling you I've got an optimistic temperament. which is relevant and I take 4 tablets a day thank you very much pharmaceuticals.
Thursday, 31 December 2015
Tuesday, 27 October 2015
Tuesday, 21 July 2015
Transcript of my interview with Brian. Done at the Royal Festival Hall shortly before Brian's 85th birthday - part 1.
What I was going to suggest we started with, as I say we could start looking at where you are now.
Right And then we can go back in time, Okay Okay We can see how the time goes. What energy levels we both have; Right. And sort of see where it goes. And it is going to last roughly ..30 minutes...15 minutes well at least 30 minutes, at least 30 so it could be a little bit more. We might need more time Right, because when someone is 85 there is quite a lot of life history to cover. But don't forget my memory problem. Well I am sure that it will be more than enough.
Anyway the reason why, apart from the fact that your my father and I think you have an interesting personal story I am interviewing you because your personal story collides with a lot of educational history. Right. so actually it is quite interesting to know what you are doing currently and then as I say we will look at where you started from, so we will look at the current situation, because downstairs (we had a brief lunch at the RFH prior to doing the interview) you were telling me you are involved with some kind of intergenerational project, that you currently got into that.
The link, one of the current links is that ever since my professional career in adult education started I've been associated with the Educational Centre's Association and the ECA recently decided that it wanted to become an intergenerational orgnanisation and got the Charity Commission's permission to for that purpose. So having started out as a beginner with the ECA, and I will tell you more about that in a moment, I then became President, and then I felt that I had been President for long enough, of this organisation, so they said oh, alright Brian and invented a title for me and I am now President Emeritus (laughter)
Oh, okay and what do they do, I will be honest I have never heard of them, so it's a bit embarrasing
There are less member organisations than there used to be for various reasons but they are extra-ordinarily active nationally and internationally in terms of policy formation and improvement and the link with them goes right back, not to the beginning of my work as a tutor, but to the beginning of the first full time job I ever had which was in Letchworth, in North Hertfordshire, where I was the Principal of a Voluntary Organisation, which was then known as and is still known as Letchworth Settlement, and I had only been at Letchworth Settlement for two years, when I got nominated to go on a UNESCO Regional Conference which brought together people from the Allied Countries and from the former enemy countries so there we were mixing with Germans, and Finns, because the Finns were not allies of the Germans but they were co-belligerents they had no alternative - So this was in the early 50's - So, this was in the early 50's, that's right, so I am sorry I have to go back to the past as well as to the current story, but in order to explain my connections with the ECA I have to explain they go right back to the beginning of my professional career and it was a marvellous opportunity to be given because it immediately gave me an international perspective it immediately introduced me to three Nordic countries because it was not in Finland but the Finns came to it. It was in Denmark, Sweden and Norway, and it was extra-ordinary, does not happen these days, this is a three week seminar, so the first week we all spent together, and I cna tell you more if you wanted to know more. The second week we split,one group staying in Denmark, the other one going to Sweden, the other going onto Norway and then the third week we all meet together and compared notes in Norway. I happened to belong to the group that stayed in Denmark and I became immensely close to the Danes I had been extremely left wing while I was at university for a while and the fact that I was at universityis itself a bit amazing, but I had become extremely left wing, because I was very anti-capitalist but one of the many, many changes that came upon me, by visiting those three countries, was that I discovered for the first time really that a society based upon the market could be civilized as well - the market could serve its purposes not the whole set up was to serve the market. Yeah, I understand I hadn't realised all that ( i.e. that he had learned this there) which is - in America, in the United States and Britain still to this day to an extra-ordinary degree the society was meant to be serving the market which is the wrong way round and on the whole the Nordic countries have got it the right way round. So now where are we, ECA that is how I got connected with the ECA.which I hadn't ever heard of before it stretches right the way back. It goes backI should think to about 1927 when it was known as the Educational Settlements Association oh okay, that makes sense, the reason there are so few member, member organisations, is largely to do with changes in legislation, changes in funding and ..........However, two or three years ago the ECA and this is relevant I think to your story to my story, the ECA was original enough to have a project which was called the Teddy Bear project, which they got a number of different countries involved in, the Finns, the Italians, the Brits , and there were different centres in all these three countries, and the Teddy Bear project was a project which was deliberately encouraging work between small children and not only grown ups but preferably grand-parents. Alright yeah. One of the events that was organised by the Teddy Bear project funded very largely by...anyway one of the European fundings was in western Finland a part of Finland that I have never been to before and I went with them. Ah, I think this is the thing you did fairly recently Well, two or three years ago...so yes relatively recent andYou may have seen a photograph of me I think you had some nice inter-reactions with some nice young Finns that's right you might have seen some photographs of me with Eta,Eta oh right I think her name was and she was 8 years old, so there's the connection if you will between me, Finland and an orgnaisation that I have been associated with on and off all my life I say, all my I say, on and off because I have not been a member of the ECA because
I wasn't a member of the ECA all the time because I have had a portfolio career doing almost every job in adult education that you can think of.
Right And then we can go back in time, Okay Okay We can see how the time goes. What energy levels we both have; Right. And sort of see where it goes. And it is going to last roughly ..30 minutes...15 minutes well at least 30 minutes, at least 30 so it could be a little bit more. We might need more time Right, because when someone is 85 there is quite a lot of life history to cover. But don't forget my memory problem. Well I am sure that it will be more than enough.
Anyway the reason why, apart from the fact that your my father and I think you have an interesting personal story I am interviewing you because your personal story collides with a lot of educational history. Right. so actually it is quite interesting to know what you are doing currently and then as I say we will look at where you started from, so we will look at the current situation, because downstairs (we had a brief lunch at the RFH prior to doing the interview) you were telling me you are involved with some kind of intergenerational project, that you currently got into that.
The link, one of the current links is that ever since my professional career in adult education started I've been associated with the Educational Centre's Association and the ECA recently decided that it wanted to become an intergenerational orgnanisation and got the Charity Commission's permission to for that purpose. So having started out as a beginner with the ECA, and I will tell you more about that in a moment, I then became President, and then I felt that I had been President for long enough, of this organisation, so they said oh, alright Brian and invented a title for me and I am now President Emeritus (laughter)
Oh, okay and what do they do, I will be honest I have never heard of them, so it's a bit embarrasing
There are less member organisations than there used to be for various reasons but they are extra-ordinarily active nationally and internationally in terms of policy formation and improvement and the link with them goes right back, not to the beginning of my work as a tutor, but to the beginning of the first full time job I ever had which was in Letchworth, in North Hertfordshire, where I was the Principal of a Voluntary Organisation, which was then known as and is still known as Letchworth Settlement, and I had only been at Letchworth Settlement for two years, when I got nominated to go on a UNESCO Regional Conference which brought together people from the Allied Countries and from the former enemy countries so there we were mixing with Germans, and Finns, because the Finns were not allies of the Germans but they were co-belligerents they had no alternative - So this was in the early 50's - So, this was in the early 50's, that's right, so I am sorry I have to go back to the past as well as to the current story, but in order to explain my connections with the ECA I have to explain they go right back to the beginning of my professional career and it was a marvellous opportunity to be given because it immediately gave me an international perspective it immediately introduced me to three Nordic countries because it was not in Finland but the Finns came to it. It was in Denmark, Sweden and Norway, and it was extra-ordinary, does not happen these days, this is a three week seminar, so the first week we all spent together, and I cna tell you more if you wanted to know more. The second week we split,one group staying in Denmark, the other one going to Sweden, the other going onto Norway and then the third week we all meet together and compared notes in Norway. I happened to belong to the group that stayed in Denmark and I became immensely close to the Danes I had been extremely left wing while I was at university for a while and the fact that I was at universityis itself a bit amazing, but I had become extremely left wing, because I was very anti-capitalist but one of the many, many changes that came upon me, by visiting those three countries, was that I discovered for the first time really that a society based upon the market could be civilized as well - the market could serve its purposes not the whole set up was to serve the market. Yeah, I understand I hadn't realised all that ( i.e. that he had learned this there) which is - in America, in the United States and Britain still to this day to an extra-ordinary degree the society was meant to be serving the market which is the wrong way round and on the whole the Nordic countries have got it the right way round. So now where are we, ECA that is how I got connected with the ECA.which I hadn't ever heard of before it stretches right the way back. It goes backI should think to about 1927 when it was known as the Educational Settlements Association oh okay, that makes sense, the reason there are so few member, member organisations, is largely to do with changes in legislation, changes in funding and ..........However, two or three years ago the ECA and this is relevant I think to your story to my story, the ECA was original enough to have a project which was called the Teddy Bear project, which they got a number of different countries involved in, the Finns, the Italians, the Brits , and there were different centres in all these three countries, and the Teddy Bear project was a project which was deliberately encouraging work between small children and not only grown ups but preferably grand-parents. Alright yeah. One of the events that was organised by the Teddy Bear project funded very largely by...anyway one of the European fundings was in western Finland a part of Finland that I have never been to before and I went with them. Ah, I think this is the thing you did fairly recently Well, two or three years ago...so yes relatively recent andYou may have seen a photograph of me I think you had some nice inter-reactions with some nice young Finns that's right you might have seen some photographs of me with Eta,Eta oh right I think her name was and she was 8 years old, so there's the connection if you will between me, Finland and an orgnaisation that I have been associated with on and off all my life I say, all my I say, on and off because I have not been a member of the ECA because
I wasn't a member of the ECA all the time because I have had a portfolio career doing almost every job in adult education that you can think of.
Saturday, 18 July 2015
A horrid day made better by Brian's ties.
So in many ways yesterday was horrid. The hearse sat there and I did not know it was Brian. Because we had got there and we were just saying hello, to people; the setting was lovely because we so many of us looked colourful it could have been a good occasion except there was more poignancy to the hugs. But then this thing sat there a heavy beast. I did not know if it was Brian at first as someone else's name was on it - a little bit of advertising but nothing that said he is Brian. Even as we were going in, and the happy chatty band silenced it was hard to know why we there except for death's follower and the big box with flowers on it. Hard to think that my Dad was it in. But it felt like death. Seeing it come it I was worried tears would flow but the awareness that we were starting early and latecomers were being shut out distracted me from the awfulness of themoment. I hate it at funerals when the coffin comes in, and I hate it even more when the portals open and the coffin goes out. But once the person taking the funeral started talking out focus was her. And for us speakers the focus was our own need to I suppose try and do Dad proud.
Writing this has kept me focused for the last few days, shutting out the truth of why I was writing it, and even though writing it made me sad, I enjoyed researching it and practising it. All four siblings in the country spoke. My brother Ed such a revelation that I wanted to reach for my camera and video it. I figured it was bad form but wished I could have captured what he said on Brian's beginnings. Then my brother Nic on Brian's towering educational achievements. There was a message from my brother Tim, currently holidaying in Peru, and then Joe's lovely piece on Brian as a Dad.
My name is Ellie I am Brian's daughter. I am an OU graduate and a member of the U3A and I teach so Brian's life work has informed a lot of who I am. But today I want to share with you my memories of Brian - the Internationalist.
Most of you will know of Brian's deep seated bond with Scandinavia and with Finland, its neighbour, in particular. His interest in Finnish educational methods, politics, culture and music inspired him for over 60 years. He enjoyed that his work there was people o a range of backgrounds and ages. He felt it a great honour when his work with the Finnish Institute was recognised by his becoming a Knight of the White Rose of Finland in 1990. Brian and Joy went to Finland to receive the resplendent award. On their return the grandchildren were thrilled to see the sword that he had been given and which to our amazement he had got through customs.
Brian tried learning a bit of Finnish but it was a bit difficult - he could however, speak reasonable French. And it was in France that he found the seeds of what was to become the U3A as Brian explained, " I actually told Michael (Young that is) about my French visit over sandwiches in Bethnal Green. I had the Extra Mural Dept to run so he Michael ...and others ...went on to set up the National Body."
So Brian's work required time abroad, but one place he wasn't sure would welcome him was America. As a former communist party member he wasn't even sure he would get in. However, when the invite came - the man who brought Sesame Street to the UK enjoyed a successful trip.
It was one of the things that I liked about his personal History, this link with Sesame Street. And as a child I enjoyed visiting Brian - my Dad - in is various offices - for example on one visit we got to see the original Tardis. Years later I was fortunate to be invited to sit in on some of the initial meetings connected to the work that Brian did with the European Space Agency using satellite links to extend education. But the highlight of our working relationship was when we took part in the Nigerian Ugandan British Project Conference at Ibadan in Nigeria in 1986.
It was our first time in Africa and we both found it liberating and invigorating. Brian formed a great fraternal bond with Laolu Ogunniyi the TV producer and on our returned to the UK the Extra Mural dept. ran an innovative project with him bringing Nigerian children over to the UK to compare cultures.
Many of you will know Brian as a man in a suit, albeit with colourful ties (each sibling was wearing one and the funeral invite asked all to wear smart clothes and colourful ties and scarves) but in Nigeria he relaxed and had a full blown Nigerian outfit made including hat. Wearing it on route back from seeing one of the local Kings or Obas he realised he had left his British clothes behind. Whilst one of the hosts went back to retrieve it we stopped by the dusty road. As the sun began to set one of the drummers, who accompanied us everywhere, started a beat that weaved through all of us, including Brian - who plays a mean talking drum - sparking up a spontaneous dance party. It was a magic moment in an unforgettable trip.
Before I leave this worldwide whirlwind I want to take you back to 1968 to the Prague Spring. Brian had links with Czecholslovakia through his work and when the Russians invaded that country there was no Facebook or Instant Messaging - instead a brave soul recorded events, as they unfurled outside his window, on a tape that was then smuggled out of the country, into the UK to Brian. The Czechs trusted he would find a way to get the plight broadcast. The taped message described the tanks rolling down the road and ended, "Do not forget Czechoslovakia"
Around the world and in the UK there are people who will not forget my Dad, Brian Groombridge - Internationalist.
Writing this has kept me focused for the last few days, shutting out the truth of why I was writing it, and even though writing it made me sad, I enjoyed researching it and practising it. All four siblings in the country spoke. My brother Ed such a revelation that I wanted to reach for my camera and video it. I figured it was bad form but wished I could have captured what he said on Brian's beginnings. Then my brother Nic on Brian's towering educational achievements. There was a message from my brother Tim, currently holidaying in Peru, and then Joe's lovely piece on Brian as a Dad.
My name is Ellie I am Brian's daughter. I am an OU graduate and a member of the U3A and I teach so Brian's life work has informed a lot of who I am. But today I want to share with you my memories of Brian - the Internationalist.
Most of you will know of Brian's deep seated bond with Scandinavia and with Finland, its neighbour, in particular. His interest in Finnish educational methods, politics, culture and music inspired him for over 60 years. He enjoyed that his work there was people o a range of backgrounds and ages. He felt it a great honour when his work with the Finnish Institute was recognised by his becoming a Knight of the White Rose of Finland in 1990. Brian and Joy went to Finland to receive the resplendent award. On their return the grandchildren were thrilled to see the sword that he had been given and which to our amazement he had got through customs.
Brian tried learning a bit of Finnish but it was a bit difficult - he could however, speak reasonable French. And it was in France that he found the seeds of what was to become the U3A as Brian explained, " I actually told Michael (Young that is) about my French visit over sandwiches in Bethnal Green. I had the Extra Mural Dept to run so he Michael ...and others ...went on to set up the National Body."
So Brian's work required time abroad, but one place he wasn't sure would welcome him was America. As a former communist party member he wasn't even sure he would get in. However, when the invite came - the man who brought Sesame Street to the UK enjoyed a successful trip.
It was one of the things that I liked about his personal History, this link with Sesame Street. And as a child I enjoyed visiting Brian - my Dad - in is various offices - for example on one visit we got to see the original Tardis. Years later I was fortunate to be invited to sit in on some of the initial meetings connected to the work that Brian did with the European Space Agency using satellite links to extend education. But the highlight of our working relationship was when we took part in the Nigerian Ugandan British Project Conference at Ibadan in Nigeria in 1986.
It was our first time in Africa and we both found it liberating and invigorating. Brian formed a great fraternal bond with Laolu Ogunniyi the TV producer and on our returned to the UK the Extra Mural dept. ran an innovative project with him bringing Nigerian children over to the UK to compare cultures.
Many of you will know Brian as a man in a suit, albeit with colourful ties (each sibling was wearing one and the funeral invite asked all to wear smart clothes and colourful ties and scarves) but in Nigeria he relaxed and had a full blown Nigerian outfit made including hat. Wearing it on route back from seeing one of the local Kings or Obas he realised he had left his British clothes behind. Whilst one of the hosts went back to retrieve it we stopped by the dusty road. As the sun began to set one of the drummers, who accompanied us everywhere, started a beat that weaved through all of us, including Brian - who plays a mean talking drum - sparking up a spontaneous dance party. It was a magic moment in an unforgettable trip.
Before I leave this worldwide whirlwind I want to take you back to 1968 to the Prague Spring. Brian had links with Czecholslovakia through his work and when the Russians invaded that country there was no Facebook or Instant Messaging - instead a brave soul recorded events, as they unfurled outside his window, on a tape that was then smuggled out of the country, into the UK to Brian. The Czechs trusted he would find a way to get the plight broadcast. The taped message described the tanks rolling down the road and ended, "Do not forget Czechoslovakia"
Around the world and in the UK there are people who will not forget my Dad, Brian Groombridge - Internationalist.
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