The Flip Side of the Flip Side.

One of the reasons I wanted to go up to Bishkek last week, apart from to visit the opera and art gallery,  was to buy some food in a supermarket. When I was in Senegal one of the nicest projects we did was a breakfast project. Each week for three weeks the children made each other breakfast, one week Arabic, one week French, one week English. They were only little and they really enjoyed it. I knew that I could not do anything so grand here, but as we are starting food words I figured if I could buy something in Bishkek then perhaps we could try something. (Little chunks of my income goes on me buying things to try out the school) I also wanted to buy some food to make something for my birthday to ask everyone to try a sort of English food. So I bought rice, bread, cheese and butter and stored them at the Ashu. Because I was ill, the food project has been put back.

Breakfast Project Senegal.

Last night of course the family arrived in a flurry, the mistress of the house has been away in America and more recently Vietnam so of course she wanted a good old clear our. I pointed out several times the plastic bag in the fridge and that is was for Bilimkana. I pointed out the stuff on my shelf and that it was my food. So of course what have I just found, yes the cheese eaten and the rice gone.  What was I saying about the good things about living here.   They poor things also have to tolerate this complete stranger in their midst, and are very gracious about it, but especially as now when everyone in the family is here and me, they must really wish they could just have their place to themselves so a two way street, but now I do not know how to store the food or what to do for my birthday.  Huff puff etc.

The Flip Side.

Should have worn more clothes today as it is the longest period so far with continuous snow and no sun, luckily walking generates warmth, but very tired still after being ill. I finally had a chat with my head to explain that the cold air and straining my voice to get the kids attention means my, probably e.p.v connected,  sore throat is now continuous and my body in the end complains and gets more illnesses.  So I am taking drink into each class,  making sure I keep my mouth closed when out walking, I have turned the heating off in my room, I am having nice long damp showers, that flood my bedroom, I have cut a lemon off the school lemon treeall in order to try and salve my self.  She has said she will try and help a bit more so hopefully  I will make it through. When I think only another term and a half that seems too short in some ways.   And what of life if I return I know that this winter in England has been the wettest on record, it sounds terrible. I got my cold during my short trip home after 5 minutes in the rain, so think I would have been just as ill back in the UK and if I was in the UK how would I survive? I was in theory doing 10 jobs before I left, several of those jobs no longer exist - sadly the better paying ones - so England could be more of a challenge.   I would miss family and friends enormously though if I were to stay away again. I am lucky enough to have relatively good Skype contact with Nathan and I am always happy to hear from friends and family on facebook, skype etc, but I do miss people in person. too.

One of the things that has intrigued me here is how well the birds seem to be surviving winter.  Is that because of the eco system here?  The trees, maybe still have some life, the grazing animals uncover the snow, I even saw a bird once unpicking cold horse dung and feeding on something there. And here the water pipe is faulty allowing the birds to drink fresh water.

I hope to be able to crash out most of the weekend, but the owner has just arrived with baby and mum and grandma, so it is a fully guest house than expected.  The owner has immediately set to to clean his rifle.   I woke the baby screaming when he dropped it - even though there are no bullets in it, it still scares me so time to move.

First day back.

This is my type of lesson,especially when it snows heavily first day back, when the kids are making so much noise, the voice is strained immediately trying to get their attention, and the head is away, so I have to teach a class of 20 prior to this group.  So over to group 6.  After this we had a brief Skype conversation with Nathan in England, so if you would like to talk to them please get in touch

Back to bed.

So the good news is that my spirits are higher and I got up ready for work, but I have just had to call my head as I realise I have no energy what so ever.  She kindly offered the hospital or a doctor, and I will take her up on the offer if things do not improve, but I just want to rest so could not bear the thought of being examined. So back to bed.

Trying to make sense of myself.

My colleagues have just come to see me with  vitamin c rich blackcurrent jam and porridge and all things to help me recover, which is very sweet. It also makes me feel very guilty. I know that having M.E is not a psychological disorder, but I know that my mood does not help it or me.  I know it is stupid, I should be able to just go to work and not need affirmations, but when I lived in Senegal having a high status was definitely one of the unforeseen benefits of my year there.  Here I do not know why I have never known why my relationship to the work, place, etc, seems more complex. I think, correction I know I have always been insecure in my work, so need more assurances than many to know that I am of value - this has caused me to crash mentally in the UK.  Coming out here I knew that I was a person who can succumb to their own doubts, but I also knew that being away sometimes it is easier as the interest the other place gives me takes me so out of myself that I cannot help but to progress and continue.  One of the good things about Senegal was that whenever I was ill and as the year continued I did have more health problems, (often luckily during the breaks) no one questioned it, it was just le vent, so I could crash out for a couple of days and then come back and I was able to put my feelings of inadequacy, that I had let people down on a low control.  So far here I am pleased to say I have been able to keep going despite having had my throat problems for weeks, but clearly the fibromyalgia kicking in means that my body has sort of had enough.  I wonder if my mind has too. I really like being here, that is lots I love about it, but I guess I am scared I am not up to the job. The women here work all day at the school, they get up early, then they go home and work again.  Even before I was ill I could not do that.  Then when they are at work they just get on with it.  So I guess I am feeling totally inadequate. I know I have to fight this and to be honest their kindness is a way of saying come on we need you, so that is very kind.  Any way. Enough of that emotional rubbish.  One of the other consequences of the ME when it gets bad I know is that my psychological health goes down too but that it picks up as soon as I get physically better.

It is very beautiful outside my window, it has been snowing since Sunday night, which I must admit puts me off going out too much at the moment. Cold weather in the UK did seem to make me ill, getting wet too, despite all the research saying that it does not affect our health. Here luckily as it is usually warm even when in theory cold, I think it has been better for me, but when it is cold and slushy like this, as it was in Bishkek this weekend, then it might feel cold especially when my hat (whilst at school) has disappeared and my muffler (from the Ashu).

I have been reading Conrad's autobiography whilst off, despite watching the ground breaking, Apocalypse Now, until I came here I had never actually read him and while knowing the bare bones of his narrative, Polish, ex seaman turned Englishman, knew nothing of his life. So reading this I have learned a bit more about Polish history, I have also learned what a strange character he seems to have been, very unsettled always, self doubting, at times very inconsiderate to the needs of his late mother's family, but in the end struggling through, taking to the sea and then becoming a great English writer.

One of the things that intrigued me was his decision from a landlocked country (and as I now know, at that time non existent so to speak country) to go to sea.   The biographer says it is easy to explain, in some ways he could not make his own way in his own land as it did not exist  as such (his father and mother had both been imprisoned for their part in championing Polish nationalism) but also there were lots of Poles involved in the sea and navigation at the that time.

I have been asked by lots of people here, why travel, why Kyrgyzstan.  I always wanted to travel, but do not think I am a natural traveller, however as a child I always association travel with adventure. I was very lucky when 15 to work in France one Christmas, which was a very magical experience, as well as romantic. Then as a 19 year old I went and worked in Switzerland, again good, but curtailed in an unfortunate way by the need to resit (and sadly fail again) my English exam for university. After that I always hoped to travel, but enjoyed visiting lots of England instead with my then husband and his friends. So it was only after I got divorced that I headed off again. This time round Europe. But lots of people did that. However I went alone and I did find it took its mental toll. So while I am very glad that I went to all those places, finding friendship in some, there was also a lot of time when I was on my own, exhausted, with little money and unable to communicate very effectively with people. Thank goodness I also knew some people en route so turned up and stayed with, or went around with people in Amsterdam, Cologne and Tubingen, but by the time I was back I think I was a little crazy all emotional energy was gone. So travel is not always the easy option. But when my son was grown up I was determined to try and do it on a more extensive basis and one of the reasons I trained as a teacher was to enable me to get away. In Senegal I think I was very lucky, a because I did have the support (or should that be torment) of a partner which gave me something else to focus on, I had my friend in the country,  and I do not know why, on the days when the school depressed me, Daker lifted me and when Dakar depressed me the children lifted me. So what I cannot work out is why, when everyone is so nice here, and the country is so beautiful, do my spirits get so low?  I have the same problem in the UK so it is not exclusive to here, but it does seem more of a problem here?

One I suppose there is none of the adventure of travel, I am just here, and working. Two I am really on top of my work, everything and everyone I know is to do with work, in fact in this country it is so small that it is hard to get away from work anyway. Which is great if you are doing well, and one of the attractions here is that if one was doing well one could plug into something bigger and feel part of the greater energy and dynamism of life. But I am not doing great.  For one everyone else is with someone else reinforcing the difference that is already clear from my inability to talk with anyone in anything other than English and although I love the kids and actually I think some of them are speaking a lot more English, the truth of the matter is I have almost had to force them into listening to me, engaging with me, doing the work etc. It is interesting this term, although the year zero kids are still happy to see me, they seem to have no energy about them any more and the year 2 children are almost so professional that the class is just routine, (which is energy wise a good thing) so in a way I know that it is not just me that seems to be de-energized. Perhaps it is inevitable, in fact I know that there is lots of evidence that people on courses go through cycles and perhaps I am just on the downward slop and especially as May will be incredibly and scarily hurtling towards me will before I know be moaning at being back in the UK so all I really need to do now is just grit my teeth, do everything I can to restore my physical health. Try and talk with my head so that we can work and benefit from each other more and stop wingeing and just get on with it.

Goodies from work. Given my love of bread and jam really this is a the perfect place for me.

A lovely weekend.

I had a lovely weekend in Bishkek, really nice. I was met by my colleague and we had a quick catch up over coffee, then I was picked up by the nice woman who stayed at the Ashu recently and together we went and looked at the exhibition of work done by the artists who stayed at the school over winter.  To think that I had seen one of these works being finished only a week or so earlier.  It is very inspirational, the guy who has set up our school, also has this project, to support artists and to have a body of material for the foundation. Each artist donates one work of art, to "pay for" their week's board and lodging at the school.  The weather outside however, was horrid wet and snowy, so we then dashed to one of the many Bishkek cafe's for further conversation, before heading to the opera. I have learned as a result of these conversations, that there is a Kyrgyz cinema tradition from the 60's, that her relative, I think I am right her grandfather was a librettist, who died at a very young age, her mother a documentary film maker.  So another extra-ordinary Kyrgyz family.

The opera here starts at 5 which I find very civilized, but at first the half empty auditorium and the production could not compare with slendour of the now legendary ROH production of the Barber of Seville. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YINEh0ANVfI However, by the second act, I was really getting into it. The production was in Russian which was interesting and I really loved the performances, especially of the maid and Don Basilio and because the theatre is relatively small  it is easy to see everyone's faces which really adds to the pleasure.  

 I find the applause here very strange, people slow hand clap, so here am I desperate to cheer and applaud against a totally different rhythm. At the ROH I think it is fair to say sometimes the applause is milked, here it is a brief well done and let's go the restaurant. Which we did. Another really nice Japanese restaurant.  Stunning spinach and brilliant bean sprouts and pork teriyaki, the first pork I have had here.   We just talked and talked and the plan was for me to meet her family next day.  But it was cancelled owing to their poor health. Flu  is going round and round, so instead I visited Osh market again and my favourite felt shop, where I bumped into the Japanese ambassador and his wife, before having a coffee and muffin, with my colleague at the ex pat's regular haunt The Sierra,  and coming back to the Ashu where I planned to do some work.  Instead I discovered that my computer was only working in Kyrgyz and refused to connect to the internet and my body  was slammed by aches and pains and I was up half the night. I have been fighting my throat infection for weeks now so had bought some medicine in Bishkek which my colleague explained was 95% alcohol so no way  was I drinking it, but in the middle of the night I sought it out to rub on my aching muscles and to my delight it has helped a bit.   I have rested all morning and will sleep again shortly, but as far as I can tell definitely not flu, probably just a reaction to the damp, and my general poor recent health and stresses. (Fibromyalgia?)  

So not quite the end to the weekend I had expected, but hopefully it will all sort itself out.

Feeling frazzled Friday.

Me and my colleagues, both Kyrgyz and English have a shared facebook page, but only us none Kyrgyz English teachers use it. We use it to share information, get advice and to rant. These are my days rants.

1. About 12: Well for what it is worth I almost walked out of school today and I have told  my head.  I am very unhappy or very cross something like that and that we will discuss it later. Why mainly jealousy to be honest. Having told you she does not teach any of the Bilimkana children suddenly she was in the year one class teaching them English and I thinking what the hell is going on here, are they unhappy with what I am doing and have not told me. And this was the rub, it is so easy for my head  they listen to her,and they loved it, not that they do not like my class, but it was just so much easier for her. But I was also puzzled by what she was teaching them. Why A B C, not something that I have focused on this term (there are lots of things I could should be improving, but we are basically following the book which does not teach ABC it builds on it). She then came into the class I had and started explaining that this term she will teach each of my classes to review their learning. This is probably a good idea, but it would therefore be useful is she reviewed what I was actually teaching them. What is the policy here re such things? I have also only just started building some revision in for this group so know that in some ways the evidence for what they have learned may be limited if she takes the book stuff, as it will need reinforcement and support. But if she then were to ask the children to recite the bit they learned for Walking Through the Jungle then they may be able to. |Or if she was to assess the skills they are developing in terms of supporting their own learning she would see some students have good practice and others need support to develop these skills.

P.s ironically my plan for today's class is to sit with all the girls individually and go over their books with them to see where they are up to and what they need to try and finish before I move on next week.  ( I did this and I must say it did paint a depressing picture about how much they had retained, but a useful picture too. I am half way through my time here, so time to build in some revision definitely.) However, next week I will how the boys who have been romping through the book have been doing, and whether they have retained any of it. 


About 3.30 So I was the problem today after my initial rant see above, I was just crap at teaching. Class one do for me. Any suggestions? They are about 10, can read, quite well some of them, do the written work, but talk over me, each other, if I try games they are wild, they have bags of potential Family and Friends a bit babyish in some ways, but potentially useful and we do use some other books too but I do not know how to cope with the incessant noise and them not listening and therefore not learning from each other.


I actually stopped teaching the class 10 minutes before the end of class. I had had it.  But it is a real problem, if I am not a good enough teacher then what am I doing here. I actually really love being here in Kyrgyzstan, it is a lovely place.   I cannot recommend it enough for a holiday, but I am supposed to be working here, so how to cope with my time left here and benefit the kids? 

To compensate for all this moaning I attach some more pictures of our lovely winter, today it is very warm, I actually sat out side in the lovely new wooden swing with tea and bread and jam when I got back to the Ashu. I loved the guest house in Senegal I love the guest house here, just a great chillin' place, wish it was mine, either of them, though the guest house in Senegal was very hard work for the owner and scarcely made money, whereas this place is sorted money wise and energy wise as the owners can employ excellent staff to do the day to day work.   I can hear English speaking guests have just arrived,  not sure I feel like being sociable though, so wonder if I can just stay in my room and then disappear off to Bishkek tomorrow.  

Yippee

The sun is now shinning.

A good start to the computer class. I was a bit naughty and challenged the student teacher/translator about why she is here, what she has been told she is supposed to be achieving here as we have not been briefed as to how to support them. I also pointed out that of four lessons when she could have helped me, the one person, who needs her skills, she has attended one class. All this had to be translated to her, by the year zero teacher, who speaks some English, but who I often have trouble communicating with. Anyway. After that the student kindly and very usefully helped with the computer class. All the children have had some instruction in English and have now typed those famous words, The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.  So that was good.

Food thoughts

It is snowing again and heavily, so I selfishly hope it will stop soon as I hope to go to Bishkek on Saturday.

I am also heading out earlier than usual as I am starting a new class today. As our computer/art teacher has left I have persuaded my head to try an English and computing classes. Given that I cannot understand half the things on the computer this may be a bit mad, but I thought it was worth trying as back in the UK even students with very limited written English have been able to work on the computers quite well.

Anyway so I am up earlier than usual, and last night I totally failed to write my blog, I was too snug, looking up property in various places and trying to work out where I should live. (I am told it is called property porn)

Yesterday morning as I ate breakfast I watched the first member of staff on duty make the daily bread, so I was able to see that they do use yeast, quite a lot of salt, but as far as I could see no sugar. The bread is flat and circular and only raises a bit, but is quite tasty. However, my colleague in the country, said that the family she lived with only made bread once a week so after two days, she found it inedible.   At school we only had kasha, the semolina dinner with bread, and it tasted quite burned, so very disappointing so I was looking forward to finding out what had been left me and the owner of the guest house, who is still here, to eat.   Nowadays I usually go straight to the main guest house kitchen when I get home as it is about 5/5.30 still light so nice to have something to drink and eat in the kitchen there. Only then do I go to my room and I can stay put all evening. But yesterday to my surprise and disappointment the only food was the bread. No soup, no Beshbarmak, nothing.  Just a jar of my apples in the cupboard, that has somehow left the kitchen fridge where I have been storing them,  so I had this and bread and jam, which luckily I love. I was pondering the inconsistencies of life here and that I am always being wrong footed like this only to find a pan of food left for us in the kitchen that is in the house were I actually live.  A pan of the delicious sort of potato bravos that they make. It is very oily, as is most of the food, but still yummy. So I was very full by the time I got to my room yesterday. The good thing this morning was the discover that they had also left us bread there, so I have been able to have breakfast without going out in the snow. Anyway I had better get dressed and face the elements but at least I have a full warm tummy.

Blooming flowers.

I have just had my BT bill, £47 for going over my internet use in December £25 extra last month, all of which is a bit upsetting when I am not even there!    

Today seems to be throwing up these delights. The student teacher who is not a student teacher said she would help me today and checked which class I was in, then at the start of class she came and asked permission not to help me, as she had to make flowers.  Quite how making flowers is supposed to help her with her translating skills, when I am the only person she could possibly translate for, I do not know, but as no one has said what these students as supposed to achieve on work placement, if she wants to go and make flowers, go and make flowers, I will spend 38 weeks with out a translator in class, so why worry when the two weeks I could have one, I still do not have one. So suffice it to say I was not impressed. 

I then went to see year one, sorting out the sound for this class has been a constant challenge, so when after 10 minutes of them going to toilet and jumping around with joy as new swings have arrived, they still were not seated and ready for class, and there was no sign of their teacher, who is always supposed to be with me, I just thought that is it.  I have no energy, I have no voice, so sod it.  If they cannot bother to turn up for class, nor can I so I took my computer and resources away and just came back and sat at the desk for the next 30 minutes.  I told all the kids that they could get out their books, that they were all on the 15 minutes time with the teacher for their bad behaviour, then worked with the 5 children who had the whit to use the time to study.  3 minutes before the end their teacher appeared very apologetic, told the kids off and suddenly everyone tried to get my attention and show they were working, at which point I said, sorry I am going now.  And what was the teacher doing that prevented her coming and assisting me as required.  Yes she too was making flowers. 

Needless to say, when trying to decide whether I stay or go, incidents like this make me feel very reluctant to stay. More important though is if I can get my health back, having thought I was on the mend this weekend as soon as I started using my voice to teach yesterday, it started going again and tonight I realise that my chest still feels slightly wheezy.  I am beginning to really worry that my voice is not up to teaching permanently any more. As a counter balance the days feel slightly more spring like, despite all the snow on the ground, that has been there since November, or is it just that I left work early today. 

A little bit of silliness.

Nothing like a good old fashioned race to introduce clothes words, I think that the kids enjoyed being very silly.

I did not manage to get pictures in the first class, but believe me the boys looked great in my dresses.

Lovely day not pottering.

Today has been a bit busier than yesterday. Last night I was surprised by the arrival of owner of the Ashu, recently returned from his trip to New York with a present and the request that I join him and some friends on a skiing trip. I cannot ski, but could not say no to a day in the mountains. So at 9.15 half a glass of vodka and breakfast started the venture. Another full glass with a sticky bun for lunch, inspired me to go down the mountain on the tyre tube several times, which was great fun, and in between I happily watched other people falling over, or doing fancy moves in fancy clothes.  I was very anxious going up the ski lift, remember going up on something like this as a teenager in Germany and like most people do not like them, so was shaking quite a bit. When I went up the ski lift my hat almost blew off, so I was trying to put the barrier down and catch my hat, and when the daughter of the family  and I tried jumping on the ski lift to go back, she did not make it and got left behind, but as most people seemed to be falling over as they got on or off the ski lift I think we did fairly well and because of my fear even that was an adrenaline rush.

Lovely day pottering.

Such a beautiful day that I had to head up to the mountains. I think I am at last feeling better.  Lovely chicken soup for lunch, with lots of garlic and dill, more chips for dinner but also with chicken.  Internet suddenly went off for 6 hours, just when I was trying to do some work, and it might go off again any minute though it is usually better after 10pm, so I will try and upload another of the winter festival videos.

A frustrating day

Both my continuing poor health and problems with technology have scuppered me today.  I did not sleep well (too much computer use in the evening?), and only just got to work in time to teach at 10.15. Then in the hiatus after my first class started getting some music downloads ready to play the children. I have new speakers, and with Nathan's help have downloaded another media player, which works with MP 4, so in theory was all ready to go.  My initial plan was just to show the kids the video that goes with the Balloon Song, (the video that refused to play out on Thursday as I got it to work after class) but over lunch I found out that as well as celebrating women's day with a special event we will celebrate veteran's day too and that this day is the earlier one. So I figured I better introduce the children to two songs instead - one for each day. But while one would play the other one would not, I kept trying to figure it out and then the computer froze.  It has been frozen for the last 6 hours. Until a text from Nathan told me how to switch the thing off and clear the problem.  So I had to go to class without the Balloon Video yet again and without the new song either.  On Friday I see the children in small groups and made the mistake of taking what should have been 4 children, except that 10 piled in instead,  into the room with the puppets I had used in the earlier session.  My voice has no energy yet, just speaking takes it out of me, so I had to abandon that group of children to their running around the with the puppets and take another group into another empty classroom to go over colours, the song and the very simple step pull change dance step to go with it. It is amazing to me how many children struggled with that, so it is good we have started this process early.  I eventually rescued the puppets and went through the material with all the kids, but felt that the whole lesson had been a debacle.   I have been ill now for over 2 weeks, and though better than before just do not have the energy needed to teach properly when the children are understandably being more challenging. Got home, slept and then discovered that dinner was a plate of chips. Thank goodness for my store of dried apricots.

On a more positive note I have heard from the guests who were here last week and they have sent me some examples of Russian versions of English nursery rhymes.Humpty Dumpty is Shaltay Boltay. from:Samuil Marshak   English Nursery Rhymes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuil_Marshak

The passing assistant.

At quarter to 12, my head came and said that the student teacher would come and help me today. So she helped me cut up some resources, during which time we talked and it turns out that she is not a student teacher, she is a student translator.  Still I thought that might be useful or interesting so told her what was happening in the classes I was taking after lunch. She was frozen, for some reason, she thought wearing one layer would keep her warm. I guess that might be because she wants to be young and fashionable. But then she did not go and eat,which would have warmed her up or appear in class afterwards which would at least have used her translating skills.

It is still snowing, no real news otherwise.

Reasons to be cheerful part two.

It is snowing again and yet the internet is working.

I got through work despite still being ill And Nathan and are talking again after a slight hiatus.  Our lovely guests have gone, but  it was nice to cook my own dinner and watch the sky blacken the winds pick up and the first flecks of new white on old white.

I can still feel the illness making me tetchy at work. When I walked into the year zero class there was a completely different teacher, and I was stupid enough to try something new and give all the children their text books so that they could all have a book and listen to the audio rather than follow me. I knew something new would faze them, but with 13 children and 15 books them getting upset because they did not have a book was something I did not really want to get into. The poor student teacher of course did not know the kids names, she had just been left with them, then in I waltz, and mayhem ensues. Eventually the class was pulled together and thinking of my colleagues suggestion that I challenge them a bit more, rather than giving them a flower to colour, I showed them the flowers in their book and told them to draw them. What did they do?  They wrote the word flower perfectly.  Then they drew the flowers.   After class, I checked through all the books and made sure that all the kids names were in them properly so hopefully that bit will go smoother next time.

I almost did the reverse in the year one class. I had to take in book, cards, water, CD player, and my computer.  We played the game where the kids were given a number and then had to find a colour.  They understood the game today (no student teacher, her mum is not well) and played it well. They do not know their colours yet, but some of them are sticking.  I then tried to play them the Balloon Song to listen to and realised that I did not have the speakers, so the class teacher went over the colours (how come they are happy just to listen to her and sit and just repeat for ages, but thank goodness they are and the good thing is that now she knows the colours in English).  Got the speakers, but then they did not work. So over to plan B. Handed out copies of the story, for the children to listen to on CD, which I had printed in black and white and then realised that they could colour them in.  When they had finished I gave out card games to play, tailoring what I gave to each different group, some colours, some words, etc, and it was just such a nice quiet, purposeful class. What was especially nice, I gave two girls, very bright, words that I have not given them, they were finding the pairs, but were not surprisingly a bit unsure, then I showed them the related page and they were off and running, they could match their word with the word in the book. Yes they cannot read or pronounce that book (the words sea and beach may not be the most useful that they have encountered in this landlocked country, though there may be a lake beach), but just this process of spotting words, will help them read later.  So a nice day.

I also did a bit of research on EU funding for agriculture. Many of the local farmers want to be a bit more productive and find ways of adding value to their farms, and I know that there are NGOs etc, working in this field, but whether there is anything specific that the farmers here can tap into I do not know, but at least I have started the process to try and find out.

I told my colleague the other day that if I was to stay then I would want to stay in my current school and then move to Karakol if they opened a school there. We discussed why I might want to do this. Luckily I know conversations do not seem to stick with him, but even I was amazed when he asked yet again if I wanted to  stay, (how many times do I have to say I cannot possibly know at this stage) and that I wanted to move to teach in Bishkek if I did. Suffice it to say, I was pretty tetchy with him.  Busy man that he is, he was tetchy back.  But if I was a Kyrgyz teacher, I could have retired by now. 55 for women and 60 for men, which is a great deal for women, but lousy for men as 62 is their life expectancy.  I knew some of my colleagues were working over their retirement age, but I had no idea how far over they were working.

Reasons to be anxious, part a million.

Many moons ago, when I lived in my three bedroom house and I was unemployed, sick and living on my savings. I pondered a solution. I did figures and tallies. I weighed the benefit of downsizing and staying put and having to modernise. On paper the two solutions actually were equally valid so I figured move or stay put all will be fine at least it is trying to move forward,  That was before I moved. About the day before I moved. I kind of had this sinking feeling, that all was not well. The minute I moved in as most of you know I was traumatized and have yet to fully recover.

 I cannot remember now how much I scored on the tally sheet for the pros and cons of storage, but I do not think I scored it highly enough.  For now, living in the flat, that I was not been able to rent out immediately, that has become a bit of an issue.  For if I want to carry on living abroad I really need to find a way to store my stuff and that costs quite a lot of money.  Much more than I realised. Prior to my move, WH Brown quoted me that the flat would actually rent out for more than the house, it was one of the main incentives for moving, that and their promise I could rent out straight away.  I quickly learned that neither was correct, but even had it been, it would not have catered for the cost of storage.    At the moment that is not such an issue as Nathan is over seeing this blighted place, and all the stuff in it, but what if he were to move out before I came back.    Really not sure, what happens then.   Any suggestions? Post purchase the surveyor I had warned against storing too much stuff if the loft as it is not as well supported as it should be!


One of the reasons I thought moving to the flat and renting it out rather than doing up the house and then moving out ( I knew I wanted to try working abroad again at some point) was the experience I had renting out my old flat in London. Finding that flat with my furniture cut up and destroyed was a salutary experience, it taught me if you rent somewhere out again, do not keep furniture you value in it and if possible just rent out somewhere that you do not have feelings for.  However, downsizing has also taught me a lot. It has taught me that the lengths the Estate Agents are prepared to go, in terms of their lies, is huge, but that the system to protect one after is totally ineffective. It has taught me that building regulations can pass building works despite their being inadequate certification on that building.  And more recently when I was asked as joint freeholder to sort out the paper work for transfer, but tried during the hiatus when I could not physically sort out the paper work, to actually get the incorrect plans for the two flats corrected, I found out that neither the other freeholders solicitor or the purchasers solicitor seemed to mind that they were overseeing the purchase of a property where the plans were incorrect. As a result the new owner of downstairs has discovered he has now purchased a flat with incorrect plans.   It feels difficult to have faith in anyone involved with the sale, rent or purchase of properties.   So what should I do now if Nathan moves out!  All thoughts appreciated.

Reasons to be cheerful part 1

I can always tell when I am still ill as I am very irritable. So whilst I am feeling a little happier the energy required to teach the kids just reduces me again to a whisper - even with my new assistant trying to support me - she is very young was slightly proactive, and was probably amazed  that it takes 10 minutes to get children to do something. This off course explains why they know phrases like move back but not the words that I was trying to teach them.


I think part of the problem is that I just miss my family especially Nathan, maybe more so this time than last time I went away as Nathan did not live at home last time.  And somehow Senegal seemed more of an adventure and burden though he was Rackou was big enough to fill the void.  The other problem is that I am not well and rather worryingly this is the third serious bout of throat problems that I have had since September. I get them in the UK too and they make teaching very difficult, but if you have ever seen children give up singing Old MacDonald Had a Farm, because the singer could only croak (when not being a frog) you can see what a disadvantage it is.

I do not fully understand though my getting so dispirited as I have met such kindness, really like everyone and have met so many nice people and think that the country is beautiful.

Yesterday I spent almost an hour on Skype talking with Nathan as it was his birthday. The heating goes off at 3 so I was frozen  by the time we finished and headed off home. It is so slippery it takes me ages, so fell asleep the minute I got back at 6. Woke up in time to eat. At dinner to my surprise the couple who are still here invited me to pink champagne, which I am glad to say is much nicer than the usual stuff, to both celebrate Nathan's day and the woman's birthday.  We had an amazing conversation, ranging from Petipa and Diaghilev and Russian ballet, to the poetry of Pushkin and how many popular British tales have been re-told in Russian, to polite forms of language. My poor little brain cannot cope with these nimble and very intelligent people who are talking with me remember in their third language.   So a very lovely stimulating evening and with no internet I was very happy to just crash out afterwards.

Birthday blues?

When I was enthusiastic about the school my plan was to ask all the students to record a message to Nathan and say Happy Birthday. Instead with my  voice only just about coping with the demands on it,  and me feeling very pissed off with the lack of information. I am just pleased to have survived the day so sorry Nathan not the celebration I had planned.

On arrival I spotted a dog outside the school and thought it might be the missing Ashu dog, and felt quite tearful when I realised it was not.  I knew going home might disrupt me. But it is knowing I could have had longer that has really upset me, especially as I could have made more of Nathan's 26th birthday had I known.   I thought my head might apologise again and explain why everyone else at school was told but not me.  But no.  Instead she informed me I have a student for two weeks, which is fine, but again no warning and when I asked when she was coming, I was told she started today.  It was all I could do to stop myself from saying Oh so she knew when term started! But stopped myself mid sentence.


Luckily the kids rescued the day, especially 2A, several of them were able to read not well but enough to show a sense of a word and it really helped them.  I get the feeling that they have been practising over the holiday with their parents.  Sadly no sign of anyone reading in 2B, so will have to try and support them with this even more than I was, but hopefully it will come.

The little ones did not even have to be told to get in a circle when they came round so while there was a little bit of hitting each other, nothing terrible so we could get on with the work. What colour is this etc.   My colleagues and I might have agreed over the resources we use, but he has made me think I can try and push their use of language a bit more, so this term I will try and embed more sentences with them.

Support ebbing away?

Is the support ebbing away?  One of my colleague's is having to make tough decisions about whether to carry on here or not. Hopefully it will all be resolved as she likes her job with the foundation, but other factors are affecting her.  I am having the same ongoing debate with myself but more with regard to whether I stay another year.  However, I think first I need to get through next term. I realise I am a bit anxious about it, in fact very anxious, do not really know why, but I guess because I know how shattering it can be here etc.

I have to laugh there is a little girl here, she is from America, but has lived most of her life in Kyrgyzstan, she was chatting to me and called me grandma! I have been called Babushka a couple of times on the streets too, if I heard the person correctly, so while in my head I am still this young person, my face says another story.

It is gloriously sunny here today ( I wish I had realised how nice winter would be, I would have encouraged people to visit) so I did a couple of short walks looking for the dog, but have very little energy still. So I have slept and eaten today. I also tried to finish the Winter Festival video but have only managed year zero so far.

Work, talk, knackered.

Last night my colleague from Bishkek turned up with the old colour printer which had been whisked to Bishkek for repair.   Had I known he was definitely coming I might have skipped going in on Friday knowing we would work today, but unfortunately I got his message just as I was leaving So rather than rest last night we chatted, very intensely with two guests, one of whom he knew, a nice Kyrgyz woman, a doctor and benefactor, about the history of Kyrgyzstan and the significance of Manas the great Kyrgyz poet and how the Kyrgyz had fared under the Soviets.  Then today we had more intense chat over breakfast, this time about education, my colleague and I disagree over some resources, so I was shattered even before we headed to work as speaking (and I did the least in this erudite, knowledgeable but contrasting group) is very painful.   We chatted so long my colleague started getting edgy about us getting all our work done, he was especially keen to get me to sign my contract.  He was having to translate it for me. It seemed to mainly consist of health and safety regulations, so that might be useful. The original English agreement had been sorted out prior to coming out here, but understandably the organisation also needs it confirmed in Russian.

Then it was onto trying to work out how to set up the printer in Russian and make sure the odds and even pages were set up correctly, pages turned in the right direction etc, to print the works off. (We have subscribed to a web page which has levelled readers to increase the range of books the children have access to in English and wanted to run through the procedure with the naff printer, ready for when we get it back and can do a proper run) That accomplished we tried to find and print just one page for me for Monday, (all the computers had been moved around and tidied up so it was not where I expected but luckily the computer teacher was in and helped me find my stuff) and failed totally. So we headed back to the Ashu for the three course lunch that guests get, where the conversation between the two men turned really intense over Islam, Stalin, and the World Trade Center (even I got heated over that) so much so that WW3 seemed imminent.  So churned up we headed back to work, got my stuff sorted and my stressed colleague headed back to Bishkek with the printer to get it properly repaired so fast that he forgot to drop off all the goodies he had for me (books and paper). He rang while I was resting  to say that these were in a bus heading back to me, but they are not here so far.  I have faith that the informal post system here will however come good at some point and the items will appear.

This suddenly reminds me of when I worked in Hertford Regional College we had a system that logged in all mail as it arrived.  We had a little man, who literally walked between the buildings bringing this mail to everyone, and dealing with all the internal movement of documents (this is before the days of mass emails in the box), then he would drive to the college's other site there and then do the post going out. So in theory a very efficient system, yet never a day went past, when an email would come out, saying has anyone seen a ream of paper, it was delivered etc, but has not arrived at its destination, or a computer has come to the college, but never been seen since. So heaven knows what was happening to it.  But perhaps it had been given to a complete stranger on a bus with instructions to get it to its destination.

Two bits of worrying news in terms of friendship support for me. One the dog has definitely disappeared - just when I have found a nice source of food for it and two the art teacher might not be coming back. He was the only person, other than the head, with whom I could converse a bit at the school and we had conversations about art and teaching, both at work and at the Ashu, and we always made each other laugh, so while it was limited it was vital. Anyway we will see, hopefully they too might turn up.

I felt so ill by the time my colleague left, I crawled into bed and have been happily resting and reading ever since. The internet has been down most of the day. However, I know it is often a bit better after 10 which is why I have been able to post this.  I know it is only a cold, but it has totally knocked me out for over a week and is still bad so hope that I can just rest tomorrow as the kids will need masses of energy on Monday.

Kids in Chon Kemin

Recently I heard a world service programme: an Australian woman and her two year old checking out the child care services in Fiji and China. In China some children from a very young age, as old as her child, are in 24 hour nurseries, five days a week. They have fabulous resources, and are usually used out of necessity but some parents like them for socialising their child and because they offer things like karate and languages. The alternative was a grandma in Fiji, who watched TV and left her 9 grandchildren to just play outside, they got no schooling.   The interesting thing was the 2 year olds response to these two models. Apparently through out the visit to the Chinese school she refused to leave her mother's side, but in Fiji happily abandoned her mother.  I think in Chon Kemin that we might have a nice mix of these two models. Children spend the whole day outside even in the winter, (helped by the sunshine) unsupervised, when school is out and a lot of the time after school but seem to have a genuine interest when in school to bend to the system for the knowledge it brings. The most frustrating thing as a teacher is that we cannot always push these educational opportunities as far as possible, owing to time money, etc, but that is the same in the UK.

Children in Chon Kemin out sledging.

More gritting.

Just discovered that the people occupying my room are here till the 15th so perhaps I should unpack and see if I can work out where everything is as things I thought were at work weren't.  

Having crashed out again, after my phone call, I eventually got to work about 12. Only me, the cleaner (and her grand-daughter) , the security guard and an artist were there. The artist has painted snow so real it blows me away, close up it is useless, but from 20 feet away I can even see it sparkle.   At times I am collapsing into paroxysms of coughing, which is horrid,  but in many ways otherwise okay.  It felt nice to be back.

The security guard, bless him cooked us all dinner, so that was nice.  He is always kind. Despite having about 10 words in common we three managed to talk about the size of the British population, art and Islam. (The cleaner and her grand child had gone home)  The artist graphically putting his hands over his eyes when talking about the latter.  He said that Kyrgyzstan is not like other central Asian countries, that it is not Islamic, despite the centuries of Islamic tradition and that is what others tell me, but definitely some younger Kyrgyz have come under the influence of Islamisation. He also thought that the countries population was smaller than stated and that this was done for political reasons.   So amazing what you can talk about over dinner despite language barriers, that is assuming I understood him correctly, when I got back to the Ashu yesterday I understood I would be in my room by today!

One of my colleagues came into work briefly, gave me a hug, the third I have had since getting back to the Ashu.  She introduced me to her granddaughters. I teach her two grandsons. But the granddaughters live in Bishkek and are not currently learning English to her disappointment.   She is only 4 years older than me, but has at least 4 grandchildren. It took my step father up until his 80's to get to that position.  

 Otherwise I had the place to myself. The colour printer has disappeared but mercifully the black and white worked so I have been able to do some prep work., which was some consolation and I sorted out some of the many tri-lingual flash cargs that are hung around the school.

Through gritted teeth

I am faffing about in my room, taking on board that I am feeling sad and missing Nathan, but that really it is time to get out there and go to work, when the phone rings. The head.  She is in Bishkek and school will start Monday.    

I choose when I booked the trip to the UK not to tell anyone for fear that arrangements at the school would change, that suddenly we would do training and that my holiday would be curtailed.   I was warned after that the holidays might extend instead and indeed they did, for in theory I should have started back yesterday, but I felt that it was not worth extending my UK ticket as that would give me a bit more recovery time and prep time.  But Monday is a whole different ball game.  Not only could I have spent more time with Nathan, I could have seen a few more friends, visited my new niece in Durham etc and the flight back would have been cheaper so I feel really pissed off. Not with my head, though it may have been her decision, but just in general. The only good thing is that now I can retire to bed and try and get well.

In a little Bishkek bubble.

So I flew back out on Monday, but arrived on Tuesday.Owing to the late departure of my Pegasus flight from Stansted I was still in the air when due to be boarding my next flight. (They had us standing in a last call queue for over half an hour with no explanation, during which one one could have been buying books, food, Euros or discussing the problems which the unexplained delay may cause had I twigged how close the turn around was. ) I rushed round Istanbul airport like a loony and managed to catch the plane to Bishkek, about the only Western European on board, but my bag did not.  So I decided to crash out in Bishkek to see if the bag turned up today, which luckily it did. In truth, as I am coughing like mad, had such a sore throat whilst en route I felt very ill, am still recovering from jet lag in now both directions,  it is just as well as  I was only capable of lying in front of the TV, listening to the weather forecast in America and falling asleep.  A bit of a waste of time in Bishkek perhaps but necessary.  I am now back in the Ashu with sporadic internet, so just want to thank everyone for my memorable Christmas, everyone that is except for property solicitors who I am now feeling seem to be a very nasty bunch, so thank you to everyone but them, it was lovely to catch up with everyone. I am sure that the next five months will go quickly so see you all soon.