I got back from work today about 5.30 stuffed my face with the lovely food the staff had left and crashed out. Not just the cold, it is minus 4 but does not feel it, but I guess it takes more out of me than I realise, I have actually been lovely and warm today at school, but sadly once again had a run in with year zero that has left me just emotionally drained. I know it is stupid you would think after 20 years teaching I could cope with bad behaviour but. Year zero have been much better recently, but today I guess with the snow and everything they were very hyper. Their teacher was in class but busy with reports, so when I had followed the system and notified a child that he is in danger of hitting the 15 minute penalty spot and he still carried on fighting I tried to take him out of the room at the end of the class to spend the time with me and the kid just refused to go. It was really difficult I was trying to get him to come and he was terrified, but rather than helping his teacher just said what will you do with him for 15 minutes, next time. I thought it was an agreed school policy. And when I had my outburst I made it absolutely clear that it was not fair on the other children to feel that they were learning in an unsafe environment. So I did not want to drag this child screaming out of the room so I had to give in, but ... Anyway I hate it, I hate fighting with kids, I hate them fighting and I hate that I have to tell my line manager that I have stuffed up and had this child in hysterics almost and then she has to tell my colleague off and to sort it out as it turns out she has not informed the children about the disciplinary system even though that was what was agreed weeks ago. So her attempt to get on with other work in my class both scuppered my class and her plans, but I am more upset that I still cannot manage the situation. I just get very disorientated when I am trying to sort them out. And whilst the child concerned missed the pep talk that the rest of the kids had a few weeks ago, I had raised my concerns about his behaviour before. Still feel very shattered that I am not cut out for this. Teaching is often about confidence and this destroys the little I have.
Anyway I attach some nice pictures to sooth me and you. Sorry it all crashed before I could do that so just quickly publishing this as it stands and will try and add pics later if the internet stabilises.
beautiful photo....it looks very last century!
ReplyDeleteOne of my favourite pictures is the Boulevard de Clichy under snow, I think that it inspired this.
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