Drained and sustained.

 Sometimes in life, things completely knock us for six, for example when I was defrauded. Some things you think you will never recover from, like the death of my son.  Some things you have to work on to recover from or some of the most important people in our lives will be lost to us.  For example for a couple of years after my father told me about his terrible will, I found it too painful to go to his house and see him there, but of course in the end the love one feels is more important than the hurt.  So I am sure I will recover from the latest distress.  But when one is thrown under the bus by someone very dear and then the blood is wiped down and you are told it does ot even exist, not only is it very painful but the anger has no where to go.  So I am sat in my room, just drained.   

J and H heading to the Cathedral for lunch. 

When I am down I want to scream run away, lie in bed, eat.  But crying doesn't seem to come   In the end, I sooth myself by looking up potential holidays!  And as another friend has asked me to go on holiday that is what I will distract myself with if I can motivate myself, but first an unexpectedlly good holiday, that I enjoyed almost immeidately after Italy.  

Here be dragons

 used to live around the corner from me, but she and her husband moved about 7 years ago, built their own home and love living on the Suffolk/Norfolk borders.  She is as far as I am concerned an intrepid traveller, eg. overland to India in her youth, helping in Romanian orphanages and many trips to Africa. She is usually the driver for UK trips, however now does not feel up to it, so wanted me to help introduce her to trains.  The good news is she has survived that baptism.  I originally had thought we could do several places, but at her suggestion we agreed to stay in Lincoln for three nights. And she was right, there was plenty to do there and the three train and bus route from her house to there gave her the practice she needed.  We set out together, so that meant me going up to hers on the Sunday, and then retracing my steps a little bit to then go north, but it was fine.  With her for  company we landed up chatting to everyone on the train so that was fun and then when we got to Lincoln it turned out our hotel was right at the top of a very very steep hill.  She refused all help and was very relieved when it turned out I had picked a nice place for us to stay.  

Even song. 

Trains were a new experience for her but sharing a mostly new experience for me.  M in America had introduced me and years ago in Russia I had shared and of course with dorms I always share, but the full intense several days with someone I know has been a challenge in the past, mostly for the other person who quickly finds me annoying and with my shyness I was really worried. This time I am glad to say it mostly worked. We both needed an afternoon nap at the same time and were comfortable together much of the time.  And in fact I really enjoyed having company on the trip. J really knows her history and in Lincoln this was a real bonus.  We started the holiday with evensong in the Cathedral, the following day another friend joined us and we pottered down the hill taking in on route part of the journey of Eleanor (of Charing Cross and Waltham Cross fame ), and pottered and nattered our way around.  Then the final full day we embedded ourselves in the Castle where you can do an outdoor tour and an indoor trail and go on the walls.  J struggled with the indoor tour as it is a prison and I with the walls, because of my phobia but including a rest break it took all day.  I especially loved the dragons who growl.  Apart from a hint of rain, it was glourious.  Then as twilight fell, we went on my first ghost walk.    

Banged up.

Each evening we had a lovely meal out and because we were sharing a room, it was so much cheaper than my usual trips.  And an added bonus breakfast came with the room, which I had not realised, and the service was so good everywhere.    We loved it.  The last day we found more shops in the Cornhill area and J decided she was better off returning slightly earlier because of the bus services near her, so she did the whole journey alone, rather than partially with me, the original plan, and I escaped up to the art gallery which I had not been able to persuade to visit previously.  It had some nice original works and a good local photographic exhition.  The perfect end to four great nights away.    She is now in Italy,  I almost headed off again,  but instead I am welcoming time at home to try and sort things out we really need addressing.