Brie and Now you see us.

 In the last 24 hours I have learned the incredibly bright and interesting husband of a late friend has dementia, another person I know is being treated for cancer and two people have suddenly died. One local, one from my past.  Brie was my best friend at school. In some ways we could not be more different.  Her father was a police officer and her mum was like her a nurse.  She had a sister. Her family were so different to mine. We were all buttoned up and they were all let it hang loose.  I think I first really experience Chinese food at her house.  Her mum was my minimum (cos she was smaller than my mum) and my mum was her maximum.  I probably stayed over with her more than she did with me, but she came on holiday with me.  I will try and find some pictures of her in her short short skirt.  She was a Tory and I was in those days Labour.  I once remember leaving school and having a blazing row with her over deaf and blind charities!   We became friends over films.  I wanted to go to the cinema but did not have anyone to go with, then discovered she was going to see The Entertaining of Mr. Sloane and I joined her and after that we were very good friends till she moved to Scotland.   

She was more boyfriend orientated than I was, or much more experienced. My only visit to her in Scotland it was very interesting to see the work her mum was doing, but the energy was different, she had a fella and seemed a world apart, but then she came back down to England to train as a Nightingale. She worked at St. Thomas' for many years and she I definitely kept in touch.  I cannot remember whether it was then or when we were younger, probably the latter, but after a programme called Smith and Jones, she became Gabriel White and I was Halleluhah Black - players on our names and we communicated using these characters.  However, aside from that she seemed much posher and grown up than me, dating doctors etc, but then suddenly it turned out she was dating one of my flat mates!  So that was quite a turn up.  After that I got married, met John Green and I suppose somehow through me she met him too and they married.   In some ways John seemed to be the every day Brie, whereas she had become a "Nightingale a professional" but for many years I think they were good together. I loved visiting their various homes in  Woodbridge. I always thought she was better than me, better at life, they went to the pub, she cooked Sunday dinners etc, whereas my marriage had broken up.  But then John went through some bad times and the marriage did not survive and sadly nor did my friendship with Brie.  At some point John became my partner, but I think Brie had already broken off the friendship. She wrote to me saying something about no longer being on the fence.  I never really knew what it was about.  Many years later I visited Woodbridge and showed my then partner all the places I used to go with Brie and I bumped into her.  I think she was touched that I thought to show him where she lived but all attempts to communicate with her failed, so I should learn from that. Despite that  I was in Woodbridge last year with another partner. I always hoped that at some point I would see her again.   But clearly it was not to be.  

Woodbridge 2023. 

Ordinarily I would love to go to say goodbye, but how do you do that when you would not be welcome at the funeral.  I will try instead to one day quietly go up and see the grave.  I am saddened and interested to learn she had an autoimmune condition.  She was a very good nurse.  But also smoked and drank.  I wonder what the condition was.   I am also pleased to know she wants a green burial.  Something I would like too. I wonder if we would be more politically aligned now.  I suppose on Tuesday when they lay her to rest I can try and spend that time with her.  

Too much death at the moment.  I know it is always there and it is a great motivator for getting on with life.    Luckily I find with most people my age we can laugh at our bodily challenges and try to make the most of our lives. I feel incredibly blessed by how much I get to do.  Today for example I was in the Tate, having a tete a tete with friends I have known for some 30 odd years at an exhibition about female artists through the years.  Wow, wow, wow,  given that the art history degree I did seemed to think women artists did not really exist in the distant pass what a revelation to see these successful professional artists who succeeded despite the odds against them.  

A wonderful British seaside break and frightening undertones.

 For years Alnmouth has been a tantalising green blue river with a hint of sea glimpsed from the train, but I did not manage to get there when just up the road in Alnwick, yet when my friend LM asked me to join her there I first demured - after all I had been nearby twice before recently. However, it is nice to be asked and it would mean finally finding out what the village and sea beyond really looked like so I decided despite the cost to go for it.   And thank goodness I did.  When LM last visited the HF house there she had dreadful weather and the walk plans were curtailed but this time the weather was stunning.    Is there anything nicer than soft sand under ones feet and a beautiful beach?  And being Northumberland apart from some intrepid families wrapped up against the wind and some ecstatic dogs,  the beach is relatively empty.   

LM was walking the Pilgrims Way,  I headed inland the first day and went to the Ad Gefrin museum in Wooler.  The bus times made a long visit impossible, but there is not a huge amount in the museum and much of it is a recreation. so, in some ways visiting from far away does not make sense but if you are in Wooler it is a great addition.  There is also a little distillery on site and I was lucky enough to be given a glimpse of the shinning new coopers.  Lovely.  And then I was back in time to loll on the beach and paddle.  

The following day was even sunnier.  I caught the bus to Amble as a local had suggested the market there.  I was not sure how far I was capable of walking and felt quite tired as I walked along the river to Warkworth Castle.   But scaling the stairs and the ins and outs of the castle revived me and I did then manage to walk back along the coastal route to Alnmouth with plenty of breaks on the beach reading.   Absolutely lovely.  Some idiots had almost set fire to the brush by the beach but luckily they put it out and so I have learned how good sand is for that purpose, in fact better probably than water as it was nearer to hand, but it is scary how easily a fire can catch hold.  

Greece and Canada have been aflame, and Europe in scalding temperatures, England has been aflame for different reasons.   The far right are on the march.  I did not hear anything untoward in Northumberland but all over Weardale there were whispers of protests and back home I heard that the local hotel where there are some refugee families ,there is extra security.  

Meanwhile I am not the only one complaining about the appalling customer service with Booking.com.  Two programmes of You and Yours have covered problems, but still not addressed the questions I have raised. It is probably too late to write to them to raise my issues, but if I have the oomph I will. 

Still not sure who to complain to or how to complain about Booking.com

 Nothing new,  I just listened to a programme on Customer Service and in the UK people are regularly complaining about the appalling services with many companies.  One of the experts talked about how good Customer Service will bring return custom and I felt that is what Booking.com needs proper training about how to deal with and support customers, which is I know a sort of nebulus complaint but one where action can happen and be clear and specific.  However, can I find out who one complains to about them .. no, trading standards?  No Simon Calder  No,  ABTA No.  I complained to the CEO but that did not even get an iota of a response.  So whilst I have used Booking.com once since then, I am still on the whole trying to avoid them.  But dear reader if you know of how to formally complain abou tBooking.com let me know. 

Meanwhile thrilled that the Olympics going so well in Paris, despite the pollution in the Seine, but worldwide things seem more unstable than ever and England seems more violent these days, what with cross bow and knife deaths.    Thank goodness for Cambridge.  just a chance to chill and relax with friends and listen to good music.  However , my poor little body has been recovering from Parsnip burns so I have been in a lot of pain.   Makes me realise how difficult it must be for people with constant pain from skin conditions.   No wonder we are happy to disappear into sport and music to forget everything else. 

Here we go again

 So I am thinking to book tickets to America, at last, but the reviews, make me wary Play airlines does not seem to have a phone number and whilst the cheap airline has satisfied some of its customers, the rating is pretty poor, so whilst I have had issues with KLM I booked with them instead. Except now I cannot get through to them.   Why are online services so difficult to deal with.  

I am still not satisfied with the "help" I got from Booking.com.  I really feel they need proper Customer Services training. They cannot even tell me who I can complain to with my issues.   They do not seem to come under ABTA.  Even emails to the CEO has not elicited a decent response. 

Sadly even some face to face services leave much to be desired. I am mindful that when I have had students at my house I have never, despite all my best efforts got better than good, rather than excellent.  But whether it was the teaching or the food, my cooking after all, or the accomodation who knows, but I know I always try my best (but as my step dad used to say my best is not good enough) So perhaps my decorator tried her best and most things she did a great job BUT there is one glaring error,  it is clearly partly my fault as I did not take all the picture frame nails down,  I was so shattered after two weeks of moving stuff I did not even realise this I was just pleased to have got everything ready for her.  But she asked and helped take down shelves, so why not ask and take out picture fittings rather than paint over them and leave the original colour showing underneath. You can see I am seething.   All that money to have the perfect finish and then that.    I have asked her to correct the issue so wait to see what happens. 

The only good thing about really annoying services is it distracts one from sorrow.   So Virginia, died around the time of my 50th, her daughter was still fairly young at the time.   Jackie had a long and painful 4 years of terminal treatment,  but otherwise luckily all my friends have made it with me to their 60s/70s but then Jane, like my mum, suddenly and unexpectedly she was gone.   I was priviledged to spend time with the family saying goodbye yesterday.    She was N's Auntie, his African family, his first childminder, friend,  we had a couple of theatre trips together, she introduced me to Fela Kuti and we went on a family holiday to France .  I attended her eldest son's wedding and the christening of her grandchild  as well as having regular time at her home,     More recently we have gathered for coffee in Kentish Town so that is where some mourners retreated to after the church service to share our memories.  36 years of friendship.   Very sad  

So lovely to have some warmth in the sun in Zagreb and Maribor.

Two weekends,  two games, two Indians (footie fodder), and one new tattoo and most importantly time with N in Zagreb.  And in between four gentle days discovering the second main city of Slovenia, Maribor.  Time to mourn my lovely friend JG, who has known us both since N was a baby.    I stayed at the hostel, which is very nice, and had my own little room with cooking facilities, so could pretend I was living there.  I managed to potter, go up a mountain and have a swimming pool virtually to myself.  I loved just being able to sit in the sun and enjoy a coffee and walk across the bridge into town.  Lots of women my age there and families,  a couple of nice art galleries and even a castle and only two hours from Zagreb.    Magic. 

Meanwhile back in the UK my friend Bob was up in Suffolk working to get the vote out,  so it was brilliant on Friday morning to wake up to find that not only had Adrian Ramsay got in but the other three GPs had been elected.  

On top of the world.

13th June 1968 - My grandmas must have been just over 70.  She never moaned about things being wrong with her health, but she did say about some of them and she recorded many of them in her diary: left cheek very painful and inflamed."  She also describes pretty miserable weather in June for example this from June 15th and 16th 1980: "sun all morning but windy rain later heavy in night did not go out/ very winder and rainy morning cold too afternoon some sun but she windy."   Grandma worked till she was 70,  did all her own shopping and it seems had to go to the launderette to wash her clothes - this when she was about 83." went to launderette Tuesday tiring work. Ironing Wednesday and Thursday. "  

Grandma had no real help as she got older and even when I visited I was not really allowed to do anything, so how do I compare to her.  I know that having only worked part time since my 50s it could be argued my health is worse than hers, and perhaps friends will say I moan about being in pain a lot but it would be nice to think I could emulate her and carry on till 90 with virtually no help. I hope so, like a lot of people my own age I do worry about how I will manage.  But where I think my life really is different to hers is in the amount of time I spend going out and about (her diary show she had a life, but not so many visits to exhibitions or holidays and so on).  

I was very pleased on Tuesday to dodge much of the rain  and this summer feels like the worst on record till I read my grandma's diaries) to visit a good friend in hospital, she is slightly older than me and in worrying pain,  and then go on to meet a couple more friends to see a talk on Tibet which featured the redoubtable Sir Michael Palin and the force of nature that is Brian Blessed. He was only slightly younger than me when he went up Everest and now at 87 has more energy than a family of elephants.  I was just chuffed to get into town and back and had to rest most of the day to have the energy to go but I am so pleased I did. 

As a child I was always vaguely interested in explorers,  and from about 14 years on was itching to travel more and have more experiences.   But with climate change and the sheer volume of people moving around begin to question the focus I put on travel in my life.  (I used my pension to pay for trips for the last 7 years, but sadly the money runs out in July)  So it was interesting to learn about the early years of Tibetan travel and how differently it was viewed by the Westerners compared to the Tibetans but that even then it was marketed and promoted through film and a tour of Tibetan monks to the UK.   It was also lovely to see two greats share some memories.  

 

So some people have been travelling to places like the Himalayas for the last 100 years, for most Brits a trip to the seaside and perhaps one or two places abroad seemed exciting until recently and now there is an explosion in travel.   I hope I have at least a couple more big trips in me, (both financially and energy wise ) but I suspect it will be mostly local travel soon, though that is more expensive of course than travel abroad.  My friend Johnny who is slightly older than me just came back from three months in Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand, very impressive.   He did ask me to go with him, but knew I wasn't up to it.  However, I love watching programmes on travel still and of course whilst N lives abroad have a good reason to nip to Europe a couple of times a year.  

How Green is My Valley or is skiffle piffle?

 The Broxbourne Green Party tries to widen its appeal by doing the occasional walk/social.  It is always a nice occassion as they are nice people and it is good to spend social time together.   However, so far we have still failed to attract more than a few people along.  This months walk in conjunction with the Big Green Walk was no exception which is a shame as it cleverly combined very little walking through the very green Lea Valley along with stops for lunch, afternoon tea before culminating at the live music exhibition at the Lowewood Museum. Lowewood Museum.    Cliff Richard was amongst a number of local musicians who went on to work in the industry,  he was not there at the musuem, but one who had worked with the Kinks was . The musuem had somehow got people like him back in touch with former band members and they had played live at the museum in conjunction with a little exhibition about the early days of Skiffle and boys bands in Hertfordshire.  Really fun and interesting stuff.   

Parliamentary candidate Owen, who also plays a guitar in a band, discovering the origins of rock and roll. 

Another lovely musical event locally was the Julie Fowlis concert in Hertfordshire. I have only just discovered one of the local churches has got some top notch folk musicians in,  it had a homely feel to it, but then this stunning music.